Funny definitions
CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other!
LECTURE:
An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either
MARRIAGE:
It's an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
DIVORCE:
Future Tense of Marriage
COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece
TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water-power
DICTIONARY:
A place where divorce comes before marriage
CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present
300 replies
Lafaya: Shortest and best definition of a lawyer is liar.. Once i had 2 b present at the court as a witness of a case, wen the magistrate arived he asked the person in the accused box: do you have a lawyer. N that person exclaimed: yes your honour he is an expert in lying.. 
enjoy folks !!!
bad-apple: DIPLOMAT:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip
OPPORTUNIST:
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river
OPTIMIST:
A person who while falling from EIFFEL TOWER says in midway "SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"
PESSIMIST:
A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in OPPORTUNITY
MISER:
A person who lives poor so that he can die RICH!
POLITICIAN:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence Later
FATHER:
A banker provided by nature
CRIMINAL:
A guy no different from the other, unless he gets caught
BOSS:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early
DOCTOR:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you.
hahahahaha -hehd- 
ur'e so funny..
I am just enjoying myself
realy funny
its vry long
philosophy, an unnecessary mind.
