Funny short tales 4 by Crownstar 2015/07/04 04:41
If we cannot laugh at ourselves, life will become a dull and stifling experience. Life can be a challenge; of that there is no doubt. But if we take a moment to stop and see the joke, we can change our entire day. To those that take life seriously, we may see humor as an obstacle in our paths. The truth is that jokes are funny because they contain a grain of truth about life that would not be able to be shown through any other medium. A funny joke or poem has the power to point out subtle ironies of life that I might get shot in the head for if I were to say them straight out. Humor has the capacity to point absurdities about the way we live our lives in a non-threatening way.
Read part 1 here
Read part 2 here
Read part 3 here
Thank U -coin-
If we cannot laugh at ourselves, life will become a dull and stifling experience. Life can be a challenge; of that there is no doubt. But if we take a moment to stop and see the joke, we can change our entire day. To those that take life seriously, we may see humor as an obstacle in our paths. The truth is that jokes are funny because they contain a grain of truth about life that would not be able to be shown through any other medium. A funny joke or poem has the power to point out subtle ironies of life that I might get shot in the head for if I were to say them straight out. Humor has the capacity to point absurdities about the way we live our lives in a non-threatening way.
Read part 1 here
Read part 2 here
Read part 3 here
Thank U -coin-
Crownstar 2015/07/04 04:45
The child and the mother
A curious child asked his mother: Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey? The mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child: It is because of you, dear. Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs grey! The child replied innocently: Now I know why grandmother has only grey hairs on her head.
The child and the mother
A curious child asked his mother: Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey? The mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child: It is because of you, dear. Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs grey! The child replied innocently: Now I know why grandmother has only grey hairs on her head.
Crownstar 2015/07/04 04:47
will at the airport
After his return from Rome, Will couldnt find his luggage in the airport baggage area. He went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that his bags hadnt shown up on the carousel. She smiled and told him not to worry because they were trained professionals and he was in good hands. Then she asked Will, Has your plane arrived yet?
will at the airport
After his return from Rome, Will couldnt find his luggage in the airport baggage area. He went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that his bags hadnt shown up on the carousel. She smiled and told him not to worry because they were trained professionals and he was in good hands. Then she asked Will, Has your plane arrived yet?
Crownstar 2015/07/04 04:49
Clever kids:
A police officer found a perfect hiding place for watching for speeding motorists. One day, the officer was amazed when everyone was under the speed limit, so he investigated and found the problem. A 10 years old boy was standing on the side of the road with a huge hand painted sign which said Radar Trap Ahead. A little more investigative work led the officer to the boys accomplice: another boy about 100 yards beyond the radar trap with a sign reading TIPS and a bucket at his feet full of change.
Clever kids:
A police officer found a perfect hiding place for watching for speeding motorists. One day, the officer was amazed when everyone was under the speed limit, so he investigated and found the problem. A 10 years old boy was standing on the side of the road with a huge hand painted sign which said Radar Trap Ahead. A little more investigative work led the officer to the boys accomplice: another boy about 100 yards beyond the radar trap with a sign reading TIPS and a bucket at his feet full of change.
Crownstar 2015/07/04 04:50
Mouthology:
A Professor was traveling by boat. On his way he asked the sailor: Do you know Biology, Ecology, Zoology, Geography, physiology? The sailor said no to all his questions. Professor: What the hell do you know on earth. You will die of illiteracy. After a while the boat started sinking. The Sailor asked the Professor, do you know swiminology & escapology from sharkology? The professor said no. Sailor: Well, sharkology & crocodilogy will eat your assology, headology & you will dieology because of your mouthology.
Mouthology:
A Professor was traveling by boat. On his way he asked the sailor: Do you know Biology, Ecology, Zoology, Geography, physiology? The sailor said no to all his questions. Professor: What the hell do you know on earth. You will die of illiteracy. After a while the boat started sinking. The Sailor asked the Professor, do you know swiminology & escapology from sharkology? The professor said no. Sailor: Well, sharkology & crocodilogy will eat your assology, headology & you will dieology because of your mouthology.
Crownstar 2015/07/04 04:52
Captain:
A navy captain is alerted by his First Mate that there is a pirate ship coming towards his position. He asks a sailor to get him his red shirt. The captain was asked, Why do you need a red shirt? The Captain replies, So that when I bleed, you guys dont notice and arens discouraged. They fight off the pirates eventually. The very next day, the Captain is alerted that 50 pirate ships are coming towards their boat. He yells, Get me my brown pants!
Captain:
A navy captain is alerted by his First Mate that there is a pirate ship coming towards his position. He asks a sailor to get him his red shirt. The captain was asked, Why do you need a red shirt? The Captain replies, So that when I bleed, you guys dont notice and arens discouraged. They fight off the pirates eventually. The very next day, the Captain is alerted that 50 pirate ships are coming towards their boat. He yells, Get me my brown pants!
Crownstar 2015/07/04 04:53
The class teacher asks students to name an animal that begins with an E. One boy says, Elephant. Then the teacher asks for an animal that begins with a T. The same boy says, Two elephants. The teacher sends the boy out of the class for bad behavior. After that she asks for an animal beginning with M. The boy shouts from the other side of the wall: Maybe an elephant!
The class teacher asks students to name an animal that begins with an E. One boy says, Elephant. Then the teacher asks for an animal that begins with a T. The same boy says, Two elephants. The teacher sends the boy out of the class for bad behavior. After that she asks for an animal beginning with M. The boy shouts from the other side of the wall: Maybe an elephant!
Crownstar 2015/07/04 05:04
FACTORY WORKERS
Two factory workers talking: Woman: I can make the boss give me the day off. Man: And how would you do that? Woman: Just wait and see. She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling. Boss comes in: What are you doing? Woman: Im a light bulb.
Boss: Youve been working so much that youve gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off. The man starts to follow her and the boss says: Where are you going?
The man says: Im going home, too. I cant work in the dark.
FACTORY WORKERS
Two factory workers talking: Woman: I can make the boss give me the day off. Man: And how would you do that? Woman: Just wait and see. She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling. Boss comes in: What are you doing? Woman: Im a light bulb.
Boss: Youve been working so much that youve gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off. The man starts to follow her and the boss says: Where are you going?
The man says: Im going home, too. I cant work in the dark.
Crownstar 2015/07/04 05:06
A man talking to God:
The man: God, how long is a million years?
God: To me, its about a minute. The man: God, how much is a million dollars?
God: To me its a penny.
The man: God, may I have a penny? God: Wait a minute.
A man talking to God:
The man: God, how long is a million years?
God: To me, its about a minute. The man: God, how much is a million dollars?
God: To me its a penny.
The man: God, may I have a penny? God: Wait a minute.
Crownstar 2015/07/04 05:12
The students were lined up in the cafeteria for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: Take only ONE. God is watching. Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, Take all you want. God is watching the apples.
The students were lined up in the cafeteria for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: Take only ONE. God is watching. Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, Take all you want. God is watching the apples.
Crownstar 2015/07/04 05:14
The Sign
Teacher: Why are you late, Joseph? Joseph: Because of a sign down the road.
Teacher: What does a sign have to do with you being late?
Joseph: The sign said, School Ahead, Go Slow!'
The Sign
Teacher: Why are you late, Joseph? Joseph: Because of a sign down the road.
Teacher: What does a sign have to do with you being late?
Joseph: The sign said, School Ahead, Go Slow!'
Crownstar 2015/07/04 05:16
the teacher
The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading. After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked, Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude? After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, I guess youd be eating alone.
the teacher
The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading. After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked, Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude? After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, I guess youd be eating alone.
Crownstar 2015/07/04 05:17
Teacher asked George: How can you prove the earth is round?
George replied: I cant. Besides, I never said it was.
Teacher asked George: How can you prove the earth is round?
George replied: I cant. Besides, I never said it was.
Crownstar 2015/07/04 05:17
Teacher: Here is a math problem. If your dad earned *300 dollars a week and he gave your mother half, what should he have? Student: A heart attack.
Teacher: Here is a math problem. If your dad earned *300 dollars a week and he gave your mother half, what should he have? Student: A heart attack.
Crownstar 2015/07/04 05:18
Teacher: This essay on your dog is, word for word, the same as your brothers. Student: Yes, sir, it is the same dog.
Teacher: This essay on your dog is, word for word, the same as your brothers. Student: Yes, sir, it is the same dog.
Crownstar 2015/07/04 05:19
Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have? Vincent: One dollar. Teacher: You dont know your arithmetic. Vincent: You dont know my father.
Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have? Vincent: One dollar. Teacher: You dont know your arithmetic. Vincent: You dont know my father.
Crownstar 2015/07/04 05:20
Sylvia & Dad
Sylvia: Dad, can you write in the dark? Dad: I think so. What do you want me to write?
Sylvia: Your name on this report card.
Sylvia & Dad
Sylvia: Dad, can you write in the dark? Dad: I think so. What do you want me to write?
Sylvia: Your name on this report card.
Crownstar 2015/07/04 05:21
Mum & Junior
Mother: Why did you get such a low mark on that test?
Junior: Because of absence.
Mother: You mean you were absent on the day of the test? Junior: No, but the kid who sits next to me was.
Mum & Junior
Mother: Why did you get such a low mark on that test?
Junior: Because of absence.
Mother: You mean you were absent on the day of the test? Junior: No, but the kid who sits next to me was.
Crownstar 2015/07/04 05:22
Teacher: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
John: You told me to do it without using tables.
Teacher: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
John: You told me to do it without using tables.
Crownstar 2015/07/04 05:23
Teacher: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didnt have ten years ago. Winnie: Me.
Teacher: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didnt have ten years ago. Winnie: Me.
Crownstar 2015/07/04 05:24
Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his fathers cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didnt punish him? Louie: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his fathers cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didnt punish him? Louie: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
Replies: 50
#45 Fun & Comedy
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