.........Share the laugh ;-D......... by MAHESH_K 2012/03/04 17:08
.hi. Hi guys m back again ...... Posting some humourous n funny jokes -lol- stay tuned to get latest up dates......enjoy......
One day, I ask my grlfrnd: tell me the name who made u Pregnant..
She replied: if u eat 12 Bananas can u tell me which one maade u fat..!!!!! .lol.
.hi. Hi guys m back again ...... Posting some humourous n funny jokes -lol- stay tuned to get latest up dates......enjoy......
One day, I ask my grlfrnd: tell me the name who made u Pregnant..
She replied: if u eat 12 Bananas can u tell me which one maade u fat..!!!!! .lol.
MAHESH_K 2012/10/10 06:31
Teacher: Maria please point to America on the
map.
Maria: This is it.
Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found
America?
Class: Maria did.......
Teacher: Maria please point to America on the
map.
Maria: This is it.
Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found
America?
Class: Maria did.......
MAHESH_K 2012/10/10 06:32
A man was pulled over for driving too fast, even
though he thought he was driving just fine. Officer: You were speeding.
Man: No, I wasn't.
Officer: Yes, you were. I'm giving you a ticket.
Man: But I wasn't speeding.
Officer: Tell that to the judge! (The officer gives
man the ticket.) Man: Would I get another ticket if I called you a
jerk?
Officer: Yes, you would.
Man: What if I just thought that you were?
Officer: I can't give you a ticket for what you
think. Man: Fine, I think you're a jerk!.......-hahaha-
A man was pulled over for driving too fast, even
though he thought he was driving just fine. Officer: You were speeding.
Man: No, I wasn't.
Officer: Yes, you were. I'm giving you a ticket.
Man: But I wasn't speeding.
Officer: Tell that to the judge! (The officer gives
man the ticket.) Man: Would I get another ticket if I called you a
jerk?
Officer: Yes, you would.
Man: What if I just thought that you were?
Officer: I can't give you a ticket for what you
think. Man: Fine, I think you're a jerk!.......-hahaha-
MAHESH_K 2012/10/10 06:35
The man: "God, how long is a million years?"
God: "To me, it's about a minute."
The man: "God, how much is a million dollars?"
God: "To me it's a penny."
The man: "God, may I have a penny?"
God: "Wait a minute.".....
The man: "God, how long is a million years?"
God: "To me, it's about a minute."
The man: "God, how much is a million dollars?"
God: "To me it's a penny."
The man: "God, may I have a penny?"
God: "Wait a minute.".....
MAHESH_K 2012/10/09 22:12
An older woman gets pulled over for speeding...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer : Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer : Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer : Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer : I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer : Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer : Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer : You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Withinminutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping hishalf drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you stepout of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an emptytrunk.
Officer2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.
Officer2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer2 : Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.............
An older woman gets pulled over for speeding...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer : Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer : Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer : Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer : I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer : Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer : Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer : You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Withinminutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping hishalf drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you stepout of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an emptytrunk.
Officer2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.
Officer2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer2 : Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.............
MAHESH_K 2012/10/09 22:08
A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
She hurried home and dyed herhair, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
"Darn, he recognized me," she thought.
She went for a complete disguise this time; haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
Frustrated, she exclaimed,"How do you know I'm a blonde?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied...........-hahaha-
A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
She hurried home and dyed herhair, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
"Darn, he recognized me," she thought.
She went for a complete disguise this time; haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
Frustrated, she exclaimed,"How do you know I'm a blonde?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied...........-hahaha-
MAHESH_K 2012/10/09 22:13
"A blonde has sharp pains in herside. The doctor examines her and says, "You have acute appendicitis."
The blonde says, "That's sweet, doc, but I came here to get medical help." -hahaha-
"A blonde has sharp pains in herside. The doctor examines her and says, "You have acute appendicitis."
The blonde says, "That's sweet, doc, but I came here to get medical help." -hahaha-
MAHESH_K 2012/10/09 22:17
Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blond. Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ." Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!" Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape. The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ." The redhead then screams, "tornado!!" Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution. By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She also says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
The blond shouts, "fire!!"
Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blond. Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ." Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!" Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape. The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ." The redhead then screams, "tornado!!" Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution. By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She also says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
The blond shouts, "fire!!"
MAHESH_K 2012/10/09 22:22
A blonde walked into work crying her eyes out and her boss asked her what was wrong. She said that her mom just died. Her boss told her she should take the day off. The blonde replied, "No I need to take my mind off of it." She went into her office. Her boss said, "I will check on you in a little while." After an hour the boss went into the office and the blonde was crying even more. He asked her what was wrong?
She answered, " I just got a call from my sister saying her mom died too!........
A blonde walked into work crying her eyes out and her boss asked her what was wrong. She said that her mom just died. Her boss told her she should take the day off. The blonde replied, "No I need to take my mind off of it." She went into her office. Her boss said, "I will check on you in a little while." After an hour the boss went into the office and the blonde was crying even more. He asked her what was wrong?
She answered, " I just got a call from my sister saying her mom died too!........
MAHESH_K 2012/10/09 22:28
There was a blonde, brunette and a red-headed girl.They were stranded in a desert, and a genie appeared.He said I will give you one wish each. So the red-head wished she was homeand so did the brunette. The genie granted their wishes, andthey went home. Then the genie asked the blonde, "What is your wish?"
"I can't decide. I wish my friends were here to help me!".......
There was a blonde, brunette and a red-headed girl.They were stranded in a desert, and a genie appeared.He said I will give you one wish each. So the red-head wished she was homeand so did the brunette. The genie granted their wishes, andthey went home. Then the genie asked the blonde, "What is your wish?"
"I can't decide. I wish my friends were here to help me!".......
MAHESH_K 2012/10/09 22:32
A blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid. So, she decides to show her husband that blondes reallyare smart. While her husband isoff at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple ofrooms in the house.
The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing aheavy parka and a leather jacket at the same time.
He goes over and asks her if sheif OK. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing and she replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blondewomen are dumb, and she wanted to do it by painting thehouse. He then asks her why she has a parka over her leather jacket. She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and it said..."FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS."......hehe.
A blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid. So, she decides to show her husband that blondes reallyare smart. While her husband isoff at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple ofrooms in the house.
The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing aheavy parka and a leather jacket at the same time.
He goes over and asks her if sheif OK. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing and she replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blondewomen are dumb, and she wanted to do it by painting thehouse. He then asks her why she has a parka over her leather jacket. She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and it said..."FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS."......hehe.
MAHESH_K 2012/10/09 22:34
There was a blonde, a brunette, and a red head. They just robbed a bank and were running down an alley away from the cops. They hid in threebags; two bags were plain, and one said potatoes. The brunetteand red head got in the plain bags, and the blonde got in the potato bag. When a cop got there, he kicked the first plain bag, and the brunette said"Woof woof!" The cop left it alone because he thought it was a dog. Then he kicked the second plain bag, and the red head said "Meow meow." So he left it alone knowing it was a cat.
Last, he kicked the potato bag and the blonde said "Potatoes potatoes!"........
There was a blonde, a brunette, and a red head. They just robbed a bank and were running down an alley away from the cops. They hid in threebags; two bags were plain, and one said potatoes. The brunetteand red head got in the plain bags, and the blonde got in the potato bag. When a cop got there, he kicked the first plain bag, and the brunette said"Woof woof!" The cop left it alone because he thought it was a dog. Then he kicked the second plain bag, and the red head said "Meow meow." So he left it alone knowing it was a cat.
Last, he kicked the potato bag and the blonde said "Potatoes potatoes!"........
MAHESH_K 2012/10/09 22:37
A blonde kept having the sameweird dream everyday, so she went to her doctor.
Doctor: What was your dream about?
Blonde: I was being chase by a vampire!
Doctor: (giggles quitely) So... what is the scenery like?
Blonde: I was running in a hall way.
Doctor: Then what happened?
Blonde: Well that's the weird thing. In every single dream, the same thing happened. I always come to this door, but I can't open it. I keep pushing the door and pushing the door, but it wouldn't budge!
Doctor: Does the door have any letters on it?
Blonde: Yes it did.
Doctor: And what did these letter spell?
Blonde: It said "Pull"..........-hahaha-
A blonde kept having the sameweird dream everyday, so she went to her doctor.
Doctor: What was your dream about?
Blonde: I was being chase by a vampire!
Doctor: (giggles quitely) So... what is the scenery like?
Blonde: I was running in a hall way.
Doctor: Then what happened?
Blonde: Well that's the weird thing. In every single dream, the same thing happened. I always come to this door, but I can't open it. I keep pushing the door and pushing the door, but it wouldn't budge!
Doctor: Does the door have any letters on it?
Blonde: Yes it did.
Doctor: And what did these letter spell?
Blonde: It said "Pull"..........-hahaha-
MAHESH_K 2012/10/10 00:04
A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he ever come home late? A: No, he doesn't.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son.
How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.......
A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he ever come home late? A: No, he doesn't.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son.
How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.......
MAHESH_K 2012/10/10 00:06
Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever
I drink tea.
Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before
you drink.....
Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever
I drink tea.
Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before
you drink.....
MAHESH_K 2012/10/10 00:09
Teacher: "Nick, what is the past participle of the
verb to ring?"
Nick: "What do you think it is, Sir?"
Teacher: "I don't think, I KNOW!"
Nick: "I don't think I know either, Sir!"......-hahaha-
Teacher: "Nick, what is the past participle of the
verb to ring?"
Nick: "What do you think it is, Sir?"
Teacher: "I don't think, I KNOW!"
Nick: "I don't think I know either, Sir!"......-hahaha-
MAHESH_K 2012/10/10 00:20
Son: Dad, what is an idiot?
Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his
ideas in such a strange and long way that
another person who is listening to him can't
understand him. Do you understand me?
Son: No......
Son: Dad, what is an idiot?
Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his
ideas in such a strange and long way that
another person who is listening to him can't
understand him. Do you understand me?
Son: No......
MAHESH_K 2012/10/10 00:21
Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: There was a man who lost a hundred
dollar bill.
Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look
for it?
Student: No. I was standing on it.....
Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: There was a man who lost a hundred
dollar bill.
Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look
for it?
Student: No. I was standing on it.....
MAHESH_K 2012/10/10 00:25
Man1 - "Excuse me. Do you know the way to the zoo?"
Man2 - "No, I'm sorry I don't."
Man1 - "Well, it's two blocks this way, then one block to
the left.".....
Man1 - "Excuse me. Do you know the way to the zoo?"
Man2 - "No, I'm sorry I don't."
Man1 - "Well, it's two blocks this way, then one block to
the left.".....
#45 Fun & Comedy
Comedy, jokes, quizes, word games, competitions, chat topics and more can be found here.
Comedy, jokes, quizes, word games, competitions, chat topics and more can be found here.