Son-inlaw to be
Father-In-Law : Young man, Ure coming to seek my daughters hand in marriage and ure chewing gum.Thats a sign of disrespect! . Man : Sir, I only chew gum when I drink or smoke. . Father-In-Law : You mean u drink & smoke and ure here to seek my daughters hand in marriage? . Man : Sir I only drink & smoke when I go to the club. Father-In-Law : U club too? . Man : Im sorry sir, I started clubbing when I came out of prison. Father-In-Law : Uve also been in prison before? Oh my God! . Man : Sorry sir, I went to jail when I killed somebody!!. . Father-In-Law : What!!! Ure a killer??? . Man : Sir, It happened out of anger. It was a certain man that didnt allow me to marry his daughter so I killed him. . Father-In-Law : U are highly welcome my son. U are on the right track. Ure absolutely the right Man for my daughter. Do you need money to buy the engagement ring and the other things?
Read part 1[topic=3359467]here[/topic]
Read part 2[topic=3359484]here[/topic] Thank U
Teacher: Describe hydrogen
Student: It is a prostitute element Teacher: Who taught you that? Student: You said it does not belong to a particular group and it reacts with almost all the elements in the periodic table.
Teacher: What is the formula for water? Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O Teacher: That's not what I taught you. Student: But you said the formula for water was...H to O.
One day I went into school all puzzled and said to my teacher "Miss will i get into trouble for something i havent done ?" She said "No why" I said " Because I havent done my homework.
At the end of the semester, a 10th-grade chemistry teacher asked her students what was the most important thing that they learned in lab. A student promptly raised his hand and said, "Never lick the spoon."
John wrote an article in the school paper about how this chemical,
dihydrogenoxide, has killed over 100,000 people world wide, usually through inhalation. The story also went on that even if you wash your food you can never get this chemical off.
No matter what you do you will be exposed to this very dangerous chemical every day of your life until you die. The story finished by claiming that there needs to be a government research group founded to find a solution. yada yada yada Anyway, the local newspaper reporter read this story in his daughters school
paper and decided to do a follow up. If you haven't figured it out di-hydrogen-oxide is the correct name for H2O or water. The deaths that he was quoting were from drownings. Anyhow, this reporter ran the article in a paper and started a local push for a government study
before they realized what the story was about.
Late To School
A student comes late to school.
His teacher asked him "Why were you late to school?" Student: "My mom and dad were fighting." Teacher: "What does your parents fighting have to do with you being late for school?" Student: "One of my shoes was in my mom's hand and the other one was in dad's hand.....
A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried a creative defense: "My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb." "Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant' s arm to one year's imprisonm ent. He can accompan y it or not, as he chooses." The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.
Michaely:bathroom
Boy: Can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: Only if you can say the alphabet Boy: OK abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz Teacher: Where's the p? Boy: "Half way down my leg."