* LMFA0 * by jaQui 2011/01/24 19:05
a blind man walks in to
a department store
with his seeing eye dog on a leash.
As usual the store manager behind
the customer service counter looks up,
notices the customer is
blind, and not wanting
to stare quickly looks
away again.
Out of the corner of his eye the manager sees the blindman start swinging the dog over his head with its leash.
Shocked, the manager runs over and says "Mister is there a problem - is there anything I can help you with?"
The blind man calmly replies "No thanks - I'm just looking around." -haha3-
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A guy sits down in a
Cafe' and asks for the
hot chile.
The waitress says,
"The
guy next to you got the last bowl." He looks over and sees
that the guy's finished
his meal, but the chili
bowl is still full.
He says, "Are you going
to eat that?"
The other guy says, "No. Help yourself."
He takes it and starts to eat it.
When he gets about half way down, his fork hits something. He looks down sees a
dead mouse in it, and
he pukes the chili back
into the bowl.
The other guy says,
"That's about as far as I got, too." -lol- yuck!
a blind man walks in to
a department store
with his seeing eye dog on a leash.
As usual the store manager behind
the customer service counter looks up,
notices the customer is
blind, and not wanting
to stare quickly looks
away again.
Out of the corner of his eye the manager sees the blindman start swinging the dog over his head with its leash.
Shocked, the manager runs over and says "Mister is there a problem - is there anything I can help you with?"
The blind man calmly replies "No thanks - I'm just looking around." -haha3-
-
-
-
A guy sits down in a
Cafe' and asks for the
hot chile.
The waitress says,
"The
guy next to you got the last bowl." He looks over and sees
that the guy's finished
his meal, but the chili
bowl is still full.
He says, "Are you going
to eat that?"
The other guy says, "No. Help yourself."
He takes it and starts to eat it.
When he gets about half way down, his fork hits something. He looks down sees a
dead mouse in it, and
he pukes the chili back
into the bowl.
The other guy says,
"That's about as far as I got, too." -lol- yuck!
SoftwareboY 2012/03/28 20:38
Blonde paint job
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the *50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
Blonde paint job
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the *50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
SoftwareboY 2012/03/28 20:51
1912 : Dracula used to drink virgin girl's blood...
...
...
...
2012 : He's dieing of hunger! -lmao-
1912 : Dracula used to drink virgin girl's blood...
...
...
...
2012 : He's dieing of hunger! -lmao-
SoftwareboY 2012/03/28 20:56
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine," retorted the lady indignantly.
"In this country ... we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives ...
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."-lmao-
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine," retorted the lady indignantly.
"In this country ... we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives ...
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."-lmao-
SoftwareboY 2012/03/28 21:01
One day a man went on a buissness trip to Florida.
He had saw this hooker and he asked "How much for a hand job?"
The hooker replied "100 Bucks"
The man said "100 Bucks, That's a lot of got damn money"
So the hooker pulled him to the side and said "See that Mercedes, I paid for that by giving hand jobs."
So he gave her the money and received the best hand he had ever had.
The next day he sees her and asks "How much for a head job?"
She said "200 dollars"
"200 dollars that's a lot of money"
She pulled him to the side and said "You see that yahat by the pier, I paid for that yahat by giving head jobs."
So he gives her the money, and get the best head job of his life
On hist last day in Florida he returns to the hooker and says "The hand job was good, the head job was great how much for the whole package."
"1000 dollars'
"1000 dollars that's a lot of god damn money"
So she pulled him to side and said "You see that island, I could afford that if i had a pussy." Hahaha ya i no
that was dirty but fun 
-lmao-
One day a man went on a buissness trip to Florida.
He had saw this hooker and he asked "How much for a hand job?"
The hooker replied "100 Bucks"
The man said "100 Bucks, That's a lot of got damn money"
So the hooker pulled him to the side and said "See that Mercedes, I paid for that by giving hand jobs."
So he gave her the money and received the best hand he had ever had.
The next day he sees her and asks "How much for a head job?"
She said "200 dollars"
"200 dollars that's a lot of money"
She pulled him to the side and said "You see that yahat by the pier, I paid for that yahat by giving head jobs."
So he gives her the money, and get the best head job of his life
On hist last day in Florida he returns to the hooker and says "The hand job was good, the head job was great how much for the whole package."
"1000 dollars'
"1000 dollars that's a lot of god damn money"
So she pulled him to side and said "You see that island, I could afford that if i had a pussy." Hahaha ya i no
that was dirty but fun -lmao-
SoftwareboY 2012/03/28 21:04
3 guys get pulled over by a woman cop.
They tried to get out of the speeding ticket, so the woman said if all ur dicks equal up to 15 inches ill let you off.
The driver pulls out his dick which is 7 inches.
The guy in the front of the passenger seat pulls his out which is 6 inches.
The last guy in the back pulls his out and it's 2 inches.
So they get out of the ticket.
After a while they hear the guy laughing hysterically in the back.
The driver asks, "What's wrong why are you laughing?" the guy in back says good thing I was popping a boner.
3 guys get pulled over by a woman cop.
They tried to get out of the speeding ticket, so the woman said if all ur dicks equal up to 15 inches ill let you off.
The driver pulls out his dick which is 7 inches.
The guy in the front of the passenger seat pulls his out which is 6 inches.
The last guy in the back pulls his out and it's 2 inches.
So they get out of the ticket.
After a while they hear the guy laughing hysterically in the back.
The driver asks, "What's wrong why are you laughing?" the guy in back says good thing I was popping a boner.
-hahaha-
#45 Fun & Comedy
Comedy, jokes, quizes, word games, competitions, chat topics and more can be found here.
Comedy, jokes, quizes, word games, competitions, chat topics and more can be found here.