* LMFA0 *

jaQui

2011/01/24 19:05

a blind man walks in to
a department store
with his seeing eye dog on a leash.

As usual the store manager behind
the customer service counter looks up,
notices the customer is
blind, and not wanting
to stare quickly looks
away again.

Out of the corner of his eye the manager sees the blindman start swinging the dog over his head with its leash.
Shocked, the manager runs over and says "Mister is there a problem - is there anything I can help you with?"
The blind man calmly replies "No thanks - I'm just looking around." -haha3-
-
-
-
A guy sits down in a
Cafe' and asks for the
hot chile.
The waitress says,
"The
guy next to you got the last bowl." He looks over and sees
that the guy's finished
his meal, but the chili
bowl is still full.

He says, "Are you going
to eat that?"
The other guy says, "No. Help yourself."
He takes it and starts to eat it.
When he gets about half way down, his fork hits something. He looks down sees a
dead mouse in it, and
he pukes the chili back
into the bowl.
The other guy says,
"That's about as far as I got, too." -lol- yuck!

jaQui

2011/01/24 19:13

A guy is driving down a
deserted highway. He
pulls up to an
intersection, and rolls
through the stop sign.
From out of nowhere, a cop pulls him over. COP: "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
GUY: "Hey, I slowed
down didn't I???"
COP: "You must come to a full stop at the sign."
GUY: "Stop. Slow down.
What's the difference?"

The cop pulls out his
baton and starts to beat the guy with-out mercy.
COP: "Well, do you want me to STOP or SLOW DOWN?"
-
-
-

This duck walks into a
convenience store and
asks the clerk,
"Do you have any grapes?"
The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck returns and asks, "Do you have any grapes?"

The clerk again says no, and the duck leaves. The day after that, the duck walks
in the store again
and asks
"Do you have any grapes?"
The clerk screams at the duck,
"You've come in here
the past two days and
asked if we had any
grapes. I told you no
every time that we don't have any grapes!
I swear if you come back in here again, and ask for grapes, I'll nail your webbed feet to the floor!!"
The duck left, and returned the next
day. This time he asked,
"Do you have any nails?"
The clerk replied,
"No,"
and the duck said,
"Good! Got any grapes?" /smiley

jaQui

2011/01/24 19:20

This guy comes home
from work one day to find his dog with the
neighbor's pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit is very dead and the guy panics.
He thinks the
neighbors are going to hate him forever, so he takes the dirty, chewed-
up rabbit into the
house, gives it a bath,
blow-dries its fur, and
puts the rabbit back into the cage at the
neighbor's house,
hoping that they will
think it died of natural
causes. A few days later,
the neighbor is outside and asks the guy,
"Did you hear that Fluffy died?"
The guy stumbles
around and says, "Um..
no.. um.. what
happened?"
The neighbor replies, "We just found him dead in his cage one day, but the weird thing is that the day after we buried him we went outside and someone had dug
him up, gave him a bath and put him back into the cage.
There must be
some real sick people
out there!" /smiley