Beggar: Give Me Food. Man: I'll Give You Vodka. Beggar: I Don't Drink, Give Mefood. Man: I'll Give You Cigarettes. Beggar: I Don't Smoke. Man: I'...

Boy calls his GF at midnight ... Girl - Hi darling Is everythings alright ?.. Boy -I wanted to tell you something important . . . ...

Someone bought an Egg and discovered that there was nothing inside... He went back to where he bought it and complained...they broke all their...

A fat man wanted to see how much he weighs and stepped on the electronic weighing machine. The machine printed: One at a time please!

PM to Smarty: Do you do brain surgery? :) Smarty: Yeah, I do a lot of brain surgery. :) Was your brain surgery always successful? :) It might have bee...

Once a British Asked Swami Vivekanand, "Can't you wear proper clothes .. to be a Gentleman?" Swami Vivekanand smiled and said... . . "In your ...

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Polite Way to Pee ** During one of her daily classes a teacher trying to teach good manners asked her studentsTeacher : "Michael, if you were...

A wife decides to take her husband to a strip club for his birthday. They arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin'?" Hi...

Man said to God : Why did you make women so beautiful? God said to man : So that you will love them. Man said to God : But why did you make th...

A blonde girl is swearing and smashing up her flat.She calls her boyfriend, "plz babe come home i cant do this f*ckin' puzzle". He asks "Well what's t...

How to Make a girl Happy? It's not at all difficult. U only need to be 1. A friend 2. Companion 3. Lover 4. Chef 5. Electrician 6. Carpent...

A man was walking at mid- night on the road adjacent to the graveyard. It was very dark. He was looking left and right and one could say that ...

Man 1: I know that she is ugly but not as much as I thought. Man 2: What happened? Man 1: She had to spend six hours in the beauty parlor ju...

Haircut A ghost went to the barber for a haircut. The barber said, "I am very busy now. Come back after a few hours". The ghost said, "Ok. I am...

A woman in a Jewlry store, Farts while bending over to look at a Beautiful Diamond ring She looks round, embarrassed,nd sees the salesman standing ...

Some Wise thoughts- 1)Early to bed,early to rise,makes u stupid, gives u red eyes. . 2)Practice makes a man perfect bt nobody's perfect. .so,y pra...

An Angry wife asked her husband on phone, "where the hell are you?" Husband replied, "Darling you remember that Jewelery Shop where you saw the di...

A blonde and a lawyer sit next to each other on a plane. The lawyer asks her to play a game. If he asked her a question that she didn't know the answe...

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He ord...