SMILE

Here aretwenty-five funny quotes to get you started. 1. “If it’s sent by ship then it’s a cargo, if it’s sent by road then it’s a shipment.” ~ Dave Allen 2. “The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.” ~ Albert Einstein 3. “Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.” ~ Mae West 4. “I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.” ~ Fred Allen 5. “The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.” ~ Dave Barry 6. “A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.” ~ Josh Billings 7. “Things ain’t what they used to be and probably never was.” ~Will Rogers 8. “Marriage is the only war where you sleep with the enemy.” ~ Gary Busey 9. “I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.” ~ Walt Disney 10. “Hippies, hippies… they want to save the world but all they do is smoke pot and play frisbee!” ~ Eric Cartman

11. “If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” ~ Flip Wilson 12. “If you would like to know the value of money, go and try to borrow some.” ~ Benjamin Franklin 13. “I’m Jewish. I don’t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.” ~ Joan Rivers 14. “I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades…or a game of fake heart attack.” ~ Demetri Martin 15. “Never give up. And never, under any circumstances, face the facts.” ~ Ruth Gordon 16. “It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawnmower, snowblower or vacuum cleaner.” ~ Ben Bergor 17. “Have no fear of perfection–you’ll never reach it.” ~ Salvador Dali 18. “It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be ugly.” ~ Oscar Wilde

21. “You grow up the day you have your first real laugh — at yourself.” ~ Ethel Barrymore 22. “I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments.” ~ Jim Morrison 23. “I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.” ~ Winston Churchill 24. “Eagles may soar in the clouds, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines.” ~ Jason Hutchison 25. “Just because nobody complains doesn’t mean all parachutes are perfect.” ~ Benny Hill-

Cool ones bro

very funny bro

these quotes have great meaning

But where is ur quote bro

lol very good to read.

very funny brother

thats in my profile

i had checked

Fantastic Funny Fun sori abt the F words lol

Great topic darlng

CoOl very Funny.

no prob

hahahahaha funny quotes

funny very funny.

good one