If a man cares and you can find evidence of it (make sure you look for that evidence when you’re in good spirits, looking for ‘evidence’ that a man cares when you’re depressed never works because you’re wearing your depression glasses and that clouds the truth). If you can find honest evidence that a man cares, you are NOT losing out! Most of the time, if a man is dating you, he’s probably doing his best to love you and show his love for you. Remember that your rules for love and not the same as a man’s rules for love. Judging a man’s care and love for you by your own ruler is dangerous. But the truth is that men need YOU. You have to train him to feel good with you by doing one thing: VALUING HIM MORE THAN YOU VALUE YOUR FEARS. That’s right, you have to value a man MORE than you value your fears. And those fears include everything from: fearing that he doesn’t love you, fearing that he is in love with someone else, and many more. The reward you can potentially get for doing this is extraordinary. You can have a man be so inspired by being with you that he turns himself from being a couch potato in to a millionaire. It’s SO funny. I remember a bitter woman (who used to be in my life) who used to say to me in her frustrated state: “AT LEAST YOU HAVE DAVID IN YOUR LIFE!!” I used to say to her, which annoyed her even more: “I love David. I always have. I actually truly love this man. I loved him when he drove a 1988 Magna that took more peees than my 6 month old pug. Even when it blew up on the freeway and smoked and put my life at risk. I loved him when he was so embarrassed about making no money and not being able to provide for me that he considered breaking up with me. I loved him when nearly every woman in my “family” told me I needed someone better. I loved him when other women used to roll their eyes at him. I will STILL love him even if he makes the worst decision in the world and leaves us with nothing (which he wouldn’t, because he’s not all about himself), but I’d love him and support him anyway if he did. I loved him when he wore *5 jeans from Target and *2 runners that were about 8 years old. I loved him when other women criticized him.” In other words, I EARNED my relationship. I used to get a blank look from her. She didn’t want to hear that. It’s like people saying to a successful woman: “oh you’re so lucky. You make a lot of money.” Well, VERY LITTLE money is made by accident. Even if you win the lottery, you still deliberately bought the lottery ticket. You didn’t EARN the lottery win, but you didn’t win it by accident. The same goes for loving, lasting and passionate relationships. It’s not a luck pot that got dropped on that woman’s doorstep. She’s almost ALWAYS doing something that the so called ‘unlucky’ woman is NOT doing. The difference between the woman with the sparkling ring on her finger and the woman who is pouting and resentful that she doesn’t have the sparkly ring is Understanding Men....