Hindi/English Jokes
Emo_CutE_GiRl_ 2014/08/04 12:12
Jokes are typically for the entertainment of friends and onlookers. The desired response is generally laughter; when this does not happen the joke is said to have "fallen flat" or "bombed".
friends share some laughing stocks with us...-hahaha-
Emo_CutE_GiRl_ 2014/08/04 12:14
Student Jokes:

ATTITUDE DURING EXAM !
They gave me the questions that I didn't know,
?
?
?
?
?
So I gave them answers they don't know.
!!Tit for Tat !! This is called ATITUDE
Emo_CutE_GiRl_ 2014/08/04 12:16
Teachers Say
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"You Should Know This
You Learned This in 10th standard !"
.
Damn :
.
.
.
I Don't Even Remember
What U taught in Last Lecture.
Emo_CutE_GiRl_ 2014/08/04 12:17
That moment when the
Teacher says,
"Those who
aren't interested can leave
the class"
But Still
you can't leave the
classroom
Emo_CutE_GiRl_ 2014/08/04 12:18
The awkward moment when the only thing you know on your exam is your name & roll number ,,and not even the date..!!
Emo_CutE_GiRl_ 2014/08/04 12:20
Want a day off work?
So you want a day off. Let’s take a look at what you are asking for. There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work. Since you spend 16 hours each day away fron work, you have used up 170 days, leaving only 91 days available. You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee break which counts for 23 days each year, leaving only 68 days available. With a 1 hour lunch each day, you used up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work. You normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave. This leaves you only 20 days per year available for work. We are off 5 holidays per year, so your available working time is down to 15 days. We generously give 14 days vacation per year which leaves only 1 day available for work and I’ll be darned if you are going to take that day off!
Emo_CutE_GiRl_ 2014/08/04 12:25
One day, Moishe went to the doctor and the doctor said that he had 10 days to 2 weeks left to live. Moishe said, ‘Dr. I’ve done good things all my life. All I ever wanted was to win the lottery, just once!’ The doctor said, ‘Sorry Moishe, you’re gonna die.’ So Moishe went to his church and prayed. He said, ‘God, all I ever wanted was to win the lottery. Just once.’ The ceiling opened up and a light shined down upon Moishe and a deep booming voice said, ‘Moishe, try buying a ticket.
Emo_CutE_GiRl_ 2014/08/04 12:27
One day in class, the teacher told everyone to turn to a blank sheet of paper in their notebooks. She noticed that Chip, the dumb jock, was having trouble with her directions.
“Have you found a blank piece yet, Chip?” said the teacher.
“Nope. I haven’t,” said the dumb jock. “Somebody went through and drew lines across all of the pages.”
Emo_CutE_GiRl_ 2014/08/04 12:29
A man was walking through a forest pondering life. He walked, pondered, walked, and pondered. He felt very close to nature and even close to God. He felt so close to God that he felt if he spoke God would listen. So he asked, “God, are you listening?”
And God replied, “Yes my son, I am here.”
The man stopped and pondered some more. He looked towards the sky and said, “God, what is a million years to you?”
God replied, “Well my son, a second to me is like a million years to you.”
So the man continued to walk and to ponder… walk and ponder… Then he looked to the sky again and said, “God, what is a million dollars to you?”
And God replied, “My son, my son…a penny to me is like a million dollars to you. It means almost nothing to me. It does not even have a value it is so little.”
The man looked down, pondered a bit and then looked up to the sky and said, “God, can I have a million dollars?”
And God replied, “In a second.”
Emo_CutE_GiRl_ 2014/08/04 12:31
A harried driving instructor came home from work, kicked off his shoes, and fell into a chair. “I’m thinking of taking six or seven of my students to England,” he said.
“What on earth for?” his wife asked.
“It might make them feel good to see what it’s like to drive on the left side of the road-legally.”
Emo_CutE_GiRl_ 2014/08/04 12:32
A doctor, an engineer and an attorney were discussing which of them belonged to the oldest of the three professions they represented.
The doctor said, “On the sixth day, God took a rib from Adam and created Eve, making him the first surgeon. Therefore, medicine is the oldest profession.”
The engineer replied, “Ah, but before that, God created the heavens and earth from chaos and confusion, thus making Him the first engineer. Therefore, engineering is an older profession than medicine.”
“Yes,” the lawyer said, “but just who do you think created all of the chaos and confusion?”
Emo_CutE_GiRl_ 2014/08/04 12:36
This man had to take a bunch of penguins to the zoo for the new exibit. On the way into town his truck broke down and he pulled
over to the side of the road. A guy pulls up next to him and says, ‘Hey, do you need some help?’
The man says, ‘Actually, all I need is to get these penguins to the zoo. If I give you 50 bucks will you make sure you take hem?’
So the guy takes the money and the penguins and takes off. The man went to fix his truck and an hour later he’s pulling up into town to go check on the penguins.
He stops at a red light and looks across the street and sees the guy walking with all the penguins following behind him. The man
gets out of his car and screams at the guy, ‘Hey! What are you doing? I thought I gave you 50 bucks to get the penguins to the
zoo!!’
The guy turns with a big smile and says, ‘I did take them to the zoo and I had some money left over so now I’m taking them to the
movies.’
Emo_CutE_GiRl_ 2014/08/04 12:36
Cop asks suspect questions:
- What is your DOB ?
- What’s DOB, man ?
- Your birthday.
- Oh, that. September 5th.
- What year ?
- Every year, man!
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