Dear Dream Girl, I dont care what you look like as long as youve got a nice voice. Every girl Ive ever wanted to see a second time has had a nice voice. One once had a low thudding voice that came out of the side of her mouth; it sounded almost like a guys, but her face was like a dolls. One had a boyish face and the sweetest voice Id ever heard. Another had a faded accent that chopped up her sentences. I dont care if youre beautiful, but have a uniquely beautiful voice. One of my friends says I shouldnt be on the lookout for other artists; Im a well- meaning hot mess of hyper-sensitive, creative, narcissistic neuroses. People with creative drives tend to be like that, blatantly or subtly, and apparently two of those together wont usually result in a successful relationship. But I have a thing for people who make music and/or pretty pictures. It would be nice to hang out on Saturdays and youll paint while I write. This will only work, though, if youre good and/or excessively passionate with your craft. And if thats the case, odds are I will start calling you a genius about three weeks in and laude you with so much praise that your productivity and also arrogance will triple. On Saturday nights well go to a flashy place and/or chill place but either way we have to meet up with our friends because I want us to be one of those cool couples that roll through to parties and are well-dressed. I wont mind if youre way more stylish than me because Im a slob and I secretly love it when my girlfriends brilliantly compensate for my frazzled efforts at looking pulled together. If you are my dream girl then you are not one of those lesbians who only go to lesbian things and live and breathe lesbian life. Weve all been through that phase but the advantage of being girlfriends is that we can hang out with the rest of dominant culture now because theres no risk of missing out on meeting the new lesbian who might be The One. Lets sometimes do drugs and make out in my room where I have Christmas lights above the bed. Or (sometimes) get wasted in Brooklyn and then stagger home holding hands. Lets be sloppy because being sloppy when youre not lonely is essentially a return to childhood and I want to do that with you. Lets have dinners at West Village restaurants that have candles on the tables and dark red walls. Lets lay on the couch until we smell bad. Lets go to cultural events together because whatever the hell it means, it sounds well-rounded.