A young woman arrived to her doctor with black and blue signs of beating. Doctor, "What happened?" Woman, "Doctor, I do not know what to do, whenever my husband comes home drunk he beats the hell out of me, almost killing me." Doctor, "I have a really good medication for it. When your husband comes home drunk you just take a glass of Green tea and start to gargle and gargle, as much as you can do and that's all you have to do" Two weeks later the woman returns to the doctor reborn and with a grateful look in her eyes . Woman: "Doctor, that was a brilliant medicine! Every time my husband came home drunk, I gargled and gargled with Green tea and nothing happened! He Has gone straight to bed." Doctor, "You see how it helps to keep your mouth shut !"

once a grade five teacher of USA asked her students to make rhymes with their names.... Dan (USA children likes our India ) : My name is dan when I grow up to b a man, I want to go to India & Japan If I can, If I can.... Sally: My name is Sally when I grow up to b a lady, I want to have a baby if I can, if I can.... Sam: My name is Sam When I grow up to b a man, never mind India & Japan I m gonna help SALLY with her plan!!! I know I can, I know I can !!!

A first grade teacher was trying to stimulate creative thinking in her pupils. She stood in front of the class with her hands behind her back and said, "I'm holding something behind my back. It's round and it fits in the palm of my hand. Who can guess what it is?" Lily's hand went up and he asked, "Is it a baseball?" "No, Lily ," replied the teacher, "It's not a baseball. But you're thinking, and I like that." Princess_Suni's hand went up and she asked, "Is it an orange?" "No, Princess_Suni," replied the teacher, "It's not an orange. But you're thinking, and I like that." Then Don spoke up: "Hey, teach, I don't know what you got in your hand, but I got something for you in my pocket. It's long and hard and pink on one end." Shocked, the teacher cried, "Don, that's disgusting! You march yourself to the principals office right this instant!" "Hey, relax," said Don. "I was talking about my pencil... But you're thinking, and I like that."

A man was walking along sea side beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said "OK, OK. You released me from the lamp... blah, blah, blah... This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish!" The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Moon but I'm scared to fly by Rocket . Could you build me a bridge from Delhi to Moon so I can drive over there to visit?" The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible! Think of the logistics of that. How would the supports ever reach the sky ? Think of how much concrete... how much steel!! No. Think of another wish." The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women...know how they are feeling and well knows women. Ginie tore his hair and ask , tell me about brige that i am build ... double lane or four lane ????

A woman tells her friend she is getting married for the fourth time. "How wonderful! I hope you don't mind me asking, what happened to your first husband?" "He ate poisonous mushrooms and died." "Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?" "He also ate poisonous mushrooms and died." "Oh, how terrible ! I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband." "He died of a broken neck." "A broken neck?" "He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."

Nice friend you have already posted comedy in comedy contest so this topic staff will moves to comedy zone

Woohoo good work emo