Well, a Scots man clad in kilt left the bar one evening fair And one could tell by how he walked that he'd drunk more than his share He fumbled 'round until he could no longer keep his feet And he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street.... About that time two young and lovely girls just happened by One says to the other with a twinkle in her eye See yon sleeping Scots man so strong and handsome built I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt... They crept up on that sleeping Scots man quiet as could be Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see And there behold for them to view beneath his Scottish skirt Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth... They marveled for a moment then one said we must be gone Let's leave a present for our friend before we move along As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon tied into a bow Around the bonnie star the Scots kilt did lift and show... Now the Scots man woke to nature's call and stumbled towards the trees Behind the bush he lifts his kilt and gawks at what he sees And in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes Oh, lad I don't know where you've been but I see you won first prize..