Santa: I am getting married. How would I know if my wife is a virgin? Banta: Get an Irish Virginity test kit. Santa: What's that? Banta: Get a Can of Red Paint, a can of Blue Paint and a hammer. Santa: What ? Are you mad? Banta: Paint your right Ball Red and Left Ball Blue and as you remove your underwear, if your wife says, 'that's the strangest pair of balls I've ever seen' Hit her head with the hammer !