'Tom' was living away from wife for 3 years, one day after talking to his frnds he told them that I have 1 child now. One of the friend named 'Harry' narrated a story "Once I went to a forest to hunt for a tiger but by mistake instead of Gun I took an umbrella with me. When Tiger appeared in front of me, I fired using umbrella and Tiger died" Tom - it cannot be possible somebody else must have fired. Harry just said one word "Exactly"

Three men were lost in a forest and were captured by cannibals. The king of d cannibals told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The 1st step was to go deep into d forest n get ten (10) pieces of d same kind of fruits. The three men went their separate ways to gather fruits. The 1st man came back and said to d king,"i brought ten (10) apples", d king explained d trial to him, 'you have to swallow d fruits without any expression on your face or you will be killed. The 1st apple went in, but on d 2nd one, he winced out in pain, so he was killed. The 2nd man arrived n showed d king ten(10) berries. When d king explained d trial to him, he thought to himself that this should be easy....1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8 and on d ninth (9th) berry, he burst out in laughter n was killed. The 1st man and 2nd man met in heaven. The 1st man asked, "why did you laugh?", you almost got away with the trial"....He replied, "i couldn't help it, I saw the 3rd man coming with Watermelons!!!

James an illiterate married Lucy a graduate. So When James want to go for an interview Lucy ask him to make sure he answers all d questions exactly,so James taught the answer for the whole questions should be "EXACTLY".So he dressed up to meet the manager for the interview. Manager:U're welcome James:Exactly Manager:make urself comfortable James:Exactly Manager:Are u James? James:Exactly Manager:have u worked in any company b4 or no experience at all? James:Exactly Manager: (shocked).Have u traveled outside the country b4? And what are ur qualifications? James:Exactly Manager: (Angry).Now listen,we dn't want 2 employ somebody that 'll spoil d name of this company bcos we learnt that most of d people here are stupid,selfish,criminals,scammers,liars, deceivers,kidnappers and so on. Are u one of them? Or are u the chief in general that is committing all these crimes? James:Exactly! Manger:Cops!!! arrest this terrorist!!!!!!

A woman was entering the bus with a little baby in her hands.When the bus drive looked at her,he said "That is the most ugly baby i have ever seen".The woman walked forwad and sat near a certain man.She said "The bus driver has insulted me"And the man replied "go and attack him,i will hold your monkey for you"

When I was in front of supermarket toilet,I saw a lil boy was quarreled with his mom. The lil boy could't resist to pee. But his mom was forced him to go into female toilet. ''Mom,this is female toilets.I'm a boy.I'm suppost in male toilets not in here.''lil boy said to his mom. ''But I'm a female,I can't go into male toilets.People will schold me.''his mom said. With pull his mom hands a lil boy said,''Later people also will schold me if see me pee in female toilets.'' At least cos couldn't resist anymore a lil boy was gave up n said,''Alright mom I'll pee in female toilets,but I'll close my eyes mom,I'm shy .''

A blonde sitting in economy class on a flight going to Chicago suddenly stands up and sits down in a seat in first class. A flight attendant watching her goes over to her and says,"Excuse me miss, you can't sit here. You paid for an economy ticket."The blonde replies,"I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm staying here until we get to Chicago."The flight attendant tries to tell her to go sit back in economy class, but the blonde repeats the phrase over and over,"I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm staying here until we get to Chicago."Then, the flight attendant goes into the cockpit and asks the pilot and co-pilot if they can help her with the blonde. The pilot agrees, and to his disappointment the same thing happens again. Then, the co-pilot says,"Wait, did you say she's blonde? I'm married to a blonde. I speak blonde..... Let me try."So he goes to first class, whispers in the blonde's ear, and she quickly apologizes and sits back in economy again. The flight attendant and the pilot are amazed and ask him how he did it. The co-pilot replies,"I told her that first class wasn't going to Chicago."

Once in a soap industry in Japan, the soap cover was mistakenly packed without soap in it i.e an empty cover. To avoid the problem in future they purchased X-Ray machine of 60 thousand dollars to check in the assembly line that whether soap ispacked in the cover or not in. Same problem occurred in Lahore. What did they do?? They simply put a pedestal fan beside the assembly line. Empty boxes were flown away! Genius Nation.

Die Another Day! A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the the operating table. she had a near-death experience. Seeing God she asked, "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 40 years, 2 months and 8 days to live". Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a facelift, liposuction and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair colour and complete make-up. Since she had so much time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it. After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by anambulance. Arriving in front of God again, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 years. Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?" God replied, "Sorry about that, I just didn't recognise you"!

Once Jack Was Standing Outside The Post Office & He Saw An Old Man Writing 100 Valentines Letters.Then The Old Man Took Out Perfume From His Pocket & Sprayed The Scent On All The Letters.Then The Old Man Make Hearts On all Thde Letters.Jack Entered The Post Office & Asked The Old Man,To Whom Are U Writing These Letters?The Old Man Asked Jack,Are U Divorced?Yes,Jack Replied.Then It Could Be For Ur Wife Also Bcoz I m a Divorce Lawyer The Old Man Replied!!

A female teacher was having a problem with a boy in her class of 3rd grade. The boy said 'M'am, I should b in 4th grade,'m smarter than my sis & she's in the 4th grade'. The M'am {Teacher} had heard enough of his complains & took the boy 2 the Principal's office. She explained everything 2 the Principal who decided 2 test the boy with some questions that a 4th grade should know. Principal: What's 3+3? Boy: 6 Principal: 6+6? Boy: 12 & so on.. The Principal asked the boy many ques * the boy got them right. The Principal then asked M'am 2 send the boy 2 4th grade. M'am decided 2 ask some more questions & the Principal agreed. M'am: What does a cow have 4 of,that 've only 2 of? Boy: Legs M'am: What's in ur pants that u have but I dont have? Boy: Pockets M'am: What starts wit a C & ends with T, is hairy, oval, delicious & contains thin whitish liquid? Boy: Coconut M'am: What goes in hard & pink then comes out soft & sticky? The principal's eyes open really wide,but b4 he could stop the answer, the boy was taking charge. Boy: Bubble Gum M'am: U stick ur poles inside me. U tie me down 2 get me up, I get wet b4 u do. What am I? Boy: Tent The principal was looking restless M'am: A finger goes in me. U fiddle with me when u're bored. The best man always has me 1stn what am I? Boy: Wedding Ring M'am: I come in many sizes. When 'm not well, I drip. When u blow me,u feel good? Boy: Nose M'am: I've a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates,I come with a quiver Boy:Arrow M'am: What starts wit 'F' & ends with a 'K' & if u dont get it, u've 2 use ur hand? Boy:Fork M'am: Whats it that all men have,it's longer in some men than others,the Pope doesn't use his & a man gives it 2 his wife after marriage? Boy: Surname M'am: What part of the man has no bone,but has muscles with a lot of veins like pumpin & is responsible 4 making love? Boy: Heart The principal breathed a sigh of relief & told the teacher:- 'Send the boy 2 University, I got the last 10 questions wrong myself!

This is the story of Santa and Banta, Both of them got bored of using mobiles........ Santa : Boss enough mobile use Banta: Yes yaar they are taking money from us like anything. Santa: How we can communicate without mobile yaar. Banta : Yaar we will keep pigeons and through them we will send our messages. We will tie our chits to their legs. So they kept pigeons and Santa singh first sent one pigeon to Banta singh. The pigeon reached Banta's house but Banta was not able to find any messages tied. Banta to Santa : What yaar pigeon reached in time but I was not able to find the message attached to it. Santa Are Yaar That was a missed call I sent to you.

One early morning a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up MOM: Wake up, son. Its time to go to school. SON: But why, Mama? I dont want to go to school. MOM: Give me two reasons why you dont want to go to school. SON: One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me. MOM: Oh! thats not a reason. Come on, you have to go to school. SON: Give me two good reasons WHY I should go to school? MOM: One, you are FIFTY-TWO years old and should understand your responsibilities. Two, you are the PRINCIPAL of the school.

Time up! Preparing result. Be patience please!