What a feeling. I havent felt like this in all my life . Feels like I'm gonna die and I cant do anything about it...almost. So wat do u do when you know you cant have the one thing that you want the most??? How do you even begin to comprehend that? And there is no room for trying hard or working toward getting it. Its just a harsh reality that I have to deal with all my life . Already I know that the rest of my life will be lived on other people's terms and happiness, not my own.