I'm feeling tired and helpless again now. Tired and scared. I feel scared really, and I feel stupid. I feel stupid for being to unreasonable and at the same time I feel stupid for forcing myself to be someone that I'm not just to make you stay. It's hurtful and I feel really tortured inside. I cry and scream on top of my lungs but no one is listening, no one really including you. If you could just see how deep the pain is in my heart you would just do what I want you to do. Either you are too ignorant and selfish or stupid, I don't know. But the thing is you are just being so insensitive and selfish. I'm weak because I'm willing to do whatever to make you stay. And at the same time I'm strong because for now, until I don't know when, I am able to tolerate the pain I keep inside to myself.