Popular Hindi SMS by Emo_CutE_GiRl_ 2014/12/13 01:17
Husband wife को English सिखा रहा था।दोपहर में Wife बोली, "Dinner लो जी".....Husband - जाहिल औरत ये Dinner नही Lunch है...."..Wife - जाहिल तू, तेरा सारा ख़ानदान।ये रात का बचा हुआ खाना है।.

.अब बोल......"
Emo_CutE_GiRl_ 2014/12/20 17:43
Munna Bhai in JailIn Jail...Sanjay Dutt: Jailer Sahab, Mujhe Phir Se Baapu Dikh Rela Hai!Jailer: Kidhar?Sanjay Dutt: Wo Udhar, Dhoti Mein.Jailer: Abe Asaram Baapu Hai Wo!!!Akbar and one Gujju were best friends.The Gujju went to a Masjid for the 1st time with Akbar.Akbar enters the Masjid and says: Allah hu Akbar......Gujjubhai Thodi Der Sochne Ke Baad: Allah, Hu Jignesss Patel.....Biwi: Wo Saamne Sharabi Dekh Rahe Ho ?Pati: Husband: Haan! Kyun, Tum Jaanti Ho Us Ko?Biwi: Haan. 10 Saal Pehle Maine Use Shaadi ke Liye Inkaar Kiya Tha. Aur Woh Aaj Tak Pee Raha Hai.PATI: Baap Re...... Itna Lamba celebration!!!A couple went to an Art Gallery. Ther was a picture of a girl covered only by Leaves.Husband was watching.Wife: Ghar abhi chaloge, Ya Hawa Aane tak rukoge!!!A man went to the marriage hall to reserve wedding date...Office was closed and he read the following Notice outside the office:"Office closed between 1 pm and 3 pm... you may use this time to think again."When a woman loves you, you are a husband......When many women love you, you are an actor......When hundreds of women love you, you are an idol......When thousands of women love you, you are a leader........But When all the women in the city love you, then you are a Best Paanipuri wala.
Emo_CutE_GiRl_ 2014/12/20 17:47
Ek Pathan Ke 3 Bachche Hue, Usne Unke Naam Rakhe:1) Hasrat Khan2) Harkat Khan3) Barkat Khan2 Saal Baad Uske Yahan Phir 3 Bachche Hue, Usne Is Baar Unke Naam Rakhe:1) Dariya Khan2) Samandar Khan3) Sailaab KhanNext Time Phir Se 3 Bachche Hue Aur Is Baar Naam The:1) Himmat Khan2) Housla Khan3) Bardasht KhanHar Baar Ki Tarah Jab Is Baar Bhi Uske Yahan 3 Bachche Hue Toh Is Baar Naam Biwi Ne Rakhe:1) Bas Kar Khan2) Sharam Kar Khan3) Reham Kar Khan.....
Emo_CutE_GiRl_ 2014/12/20 17:50
Boy: I Love You!
Girl: Agar Main Bhi Ttum se I Love You Kahun Toh??
Boy: Main Toh Khushi Se Marrr Jaaunga.
Girl: Jaa Pagle, Nahi Kehti... JEE Le Apni Zindagi...
#Boy: Tum Ladki Ho Ke Sharaab Peeti Ho???
Awesome reply by girl: Toh Kya 2-4 Peg Ke Liye Gender Change Karwaun???
#Operation Ke Baad Patient Bola: Doctor Sahab! Kya Ab Main ROG MUKT Hun?
Samne Se Jawab Mila: Beta! Doctor Sahab Toh Dharti Par Rah Gaye, Main Toh CHITR GUPT Hun!!!
#police: Aapke Ghar Kee Talaashi Leni Hai !
Santa: Kyon ?
Police: Khabar Mili hai Ki Aapne Ek Khatarnaak Aatankwadi Ko apne Ghar Mein Rakhaa Hua Hai !
Santa: Khabar Toh Ekdum Pakki Hai Inspector Saab...Par Aajkal woh Maayke Gayi Hui Hai !!!
Emo_CutE_GiRl_ 2014/12/20 17:53
Patni: Chalo Ek Khel KhelteHain... Main Chhupti Hoon Aur Aap Mujhe Dhoondhna. Agar Aapne Dhoondh Liya Toh Main Aapke Saath Shopping Karne Chalungi.Pati: Aur Agar Nahin Dhoondh Paya Toh ?Patni: Aaisa Mat Kaho Jaanu...... Bas Darwaje Ke Peechhe Hee Chhupoongi...!!!Ek Aurat Apne Boyfriend Ke Saath Bazaar Mein Ghoom Rahi Thee Ki TabhiUska Pati Mila Gaya.Pati Ne Boyfriend Ko Peetna Shuru kar Diya.Aurat: Maaro Saaley Ko... Apni Biwi Ko Kabhi Ghumaane Le Jaata Nahi Aur Doosron Ki Biwion Ko Le Jaata Hai.Tabhi Boyfriend Ko Josh Aa Gaya Aur Woh Pati Ko Peetne Shuru Kar Deta Hai.Aurat: Maar Saale Ko !!! Khud Toh Kabhi Ghumaane Le Jaata Nahi Aur Doosron Ko Bhi Nahin Ghumaane Deta!!!Husband: Tumhare ShaadiSe Pehle Kitne Boyfriend The??Wife silent...Husband Chilla Ke: Mein Iss Khamoshi Ka Kya Matlab Samjhun?Wife: Haaye Rabba... Gin Toh Rahi Hun.... Chilla Kyun Rahe Ho...Pati: Saab, Meri Patni Gum Ho Gayi Hai!!!Postmaster: Oye, Andhaa Hai Kya ??? Ye Post Office Hai, Police Station Jaa Na.Pati: Maaf Karna Bhai, Kyaa Karoon, Khushi Ke Maare Kuchh Samajh Nahi Aa Rahaa Ki Kidhar Jaauun ???`
Emo_CutE_GiRl_ 2014/12/20 17:55
Ek Wife Ne Subah Uthte Hi Apne Pati Ko Pankhe Se Rassi Baandhte Dekha, Toh Ghabrakar Pucha: Arey, Yeh Aap Kya Kar Rahe Ho???Husband Ne Dukhi Swar Mein Kaha: Mein Teri Roz Roz ki Naye Kapde DilaaneKi Pharmaish Se Tang Aa Gaya Hun, Isliye Suicide Kar Raha Hun.Ye Sunte Hi Wife Ne Zor Zor Se Rona Start Kar Diya,Aur Boli: Jaatey Jaatey Ek White Suit Toh Dilwa Do, Varna Terahvin Pe Kya Pehanungi????
Emo_CutE_GiRl_ 2014/12/20 17:58
Patient: Doctor Sahab, Jaldi Kuch Karo, Mere Pairon Par Ek Aurat Ne Gaadi Chadha Di.Doctor Ne Usko Achche SeCheck Kiya, Aur Paaya Ki Bahut Hi Mamuli Si Chot Hai, Par Mareez Ghabraya Hua Hai!Doctor Bola: Oh! Bhai Operation Karna Padega, Bahut Kharcha Aayega... Taiyaar Ho?Mareez: Kuchh Bhi Karo, Jaldi Karo. Kameeni Ne Mara Hua Soch Kar UthayaBhi Nahin!!Itne Mein Doctor Ki Biwi KaPhone Aa Gaya.Doctor: Hellooo...Biwi: Hello Ko Maro Goli! Main Ek Musibat Mein Phas Gayi Hun, Jaldi Se Koi Raasta Batao.Doctor: Kaisi Musibat???Biwi: Maine Car Chalate Hue Ek Aadmi Ko Takkar Maar Di Aur Vo Shayad Mar Gaya Hai.Doctor: Aadmi Ne Kapde Kaise Pehen Rakhe The?Biwi: Hari T-shirt Aur BlackPant.Doctor: Oh! To Us Ko Tumne Maara Hai? Police Khooni Ko Talaash Karti Hui Ghoom Rahi Hai.Biwi: Toh Ab Mein Kya Karun?Doctor: Karna Kya Hai... 4-6 Mahine Ke Liye Maikey Chali Jao, Jaldi.Patni: Theek Hai Jaa Rahi Hoon.Mareez: Doctor Ji, Karo Na Kuch!Doctor: Bhai Kuch Nahin Hua Hai Tujhe... Yeh Piase Pakad Aur 4-5 Beer Le Aaa Jaldi Se... Dono Piyenge... Aur Haan, Please Ye Hari T-shirt Nikaal Ke Jaa.
Emo_CutE_GiRl_ 2014/12/20 18:00
Banta: Bhai Santa ! Tumhari Biwi Ka Ghutne Ka Dard Theek Hua Yaa Nahi ?Santa: Haan Yaar Doctor Ko Dikhaate Hee Theek Ho Gaya !Banta (Hairani se): Achchha ! Kaunsi Dawa Se?Santa: Dawa Vagaira Kuchh Nahi ! Bas Doctor Ne Bataya Ki Ye Budhaape Kee Nishaani Hai Aur Us Din Ke Baad Phir Usne Dard Kee Shikaayat Hee Nahi Ki !!!
Emo_CutE_GiRl_ 2014/12/20 18:02
Wife: Mehmaan Aa Rahe Hain Aur Ghar Main Daal Ke Siva Kuchh Bhi Nahi.Husband: Jab Woh Aaye Toh Kitchen Mein Ek Bartan Gira Dena, Aur Jab Main Puchchu Toh Kehna Ki KORMA Gir Gaya...Phir Dusra Bartan Girana, Aur Kehna Biryani Gir Gayi... Phir Main Kahunga Chalo Daal Hi Le Aao...Mehmano Ke Aane Ke Baad Bartan Girne Ki Awaaz Aayi.....Husband: Kya Hua...???Wife: Bhangra Paa Le Kanjraaa... Daal Hi Gir Gayi...
Emo_CutE_GiRl_ 2014/12/20 18:05
Santa Aur Banta Daaru PeeKe ghar Jaa Rahe The.Tabhi Santa Chillya: Oye Banta, Deewar... Abe Saamne Dekh Deewar Hai.... MArwayega Kya, Oye! Kar Kya Raha Hai Yaar???? Dekh Aagey Deewar Hai...Dhadaaaaam! and They HitThe Wall.The Next day in the hospital Santa asked Banta: Harami, Thukwa Diya Na. Kab Se Keh Raha Tha Deewar Hai, Deewar Hai, Deewar Hai... Saale Sun Hi Nahi Raha Tha. Tujhe Ek Baar Bhi Khayaal Nahin Aaya Ki Gharwale Intezaar Kar Rahe Honge? Gharwalon Aur BbachchonPer Kya Beetegi? Aur Agar Hum Mar Jaate Toh Gharwalon Ka Kya Hota???? Bol Ab Daarubaaz... Bolta Kyun Nahi Hai Kutte, Sharaabi???Banta Karahte Hue: Oye Santa... Gaadi Mein Nahin Tu Chala Raha Tha... Sharaabi, Bevde...!!!
Emo_CutE_GiRl_ 2014/12/20 18:07
Hubby Ke Birthday Par Wife Ne Pucha: Kya Gift Chahiye Tumhe???

Hubby: Tum Mujhe Pyar Karo, Izzat Karo Aur Mera Kehna Maano... Bas Yahi kaafi hai.Wife, Kuch Der Soch Ke: Nahin, Main Toh Gift Hi Dungi.
#Ek Marwadi Ne Shadi Mein Damad Ko CHESS Board Gift Diya.
Damad: Yeh Kya ?
Marwadi: Badi Tamanna Thi ki Beti Ko Shadi Mein HATHI, GHODE, UNTH, NAUKAR-CHAKAR Dun, Aaj Meri Iccha Puri Ho Gayi !!!


Why do most indian women request 4 the same husband in the next life???

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Arre... Itni Mehnat Se Trained Kiya Hai... Waste Thodi Jaane Denge!


Wife: Aap Bangkok Jaate Ho Toh Mujhe Kyon Nahin LE Jaate???Husband: Arrey Pagli, Jab Restaurant Mein Jaate Hain Toh Tiffin Thode Na Le Ke Jaate Hain!!!!
Pati: Tum hamesha mera - mera karti ho, Mera beta, Mera Ghar, Meri Car. Tumhe 'Hamara' Kehna Chahiye.Ab Almari Mein Kya Dhoond Rahi Ho...???
Wife: Hamara Petticoat...!!!
Emo_CutE_GiRl_ 2014/12/20 18:09
A very effective Dhamki by wife in new style:Tum Jitna Time Facebook, Whatsapp, Twitter Ko Doge... Mein Utna Time Flipkart, Amazon, Snapdeal, Jabong, ebay kodungi !!!Santa: Yaar! Main Jo Bhi Kaam Shuru Karta Hoon, Meri Biwi Beech Mein Aa Jaati Hai.Banta: Tu Truck Chala Kar Dekh, Shayad Kismat Saath De De.A Philosopher HUSBAND said: Every WIFE is a 'Mistress' of her Husband...'Miss' for first year & 'Stress' for rest of the life.A very intelligent girl was asked the meaning of marriage.She said: Sacrificing the admiration of hundred guys, to face the criticism of one idiot.Listening to your Wife is like reading terms & conditions of a website. You understand nothing but still click on "I AGREE"The sweetest msg:Husband to wife: You should learn to embrace your mistakes... She hugged him tightly...
Emo_CutE_GiRl_ 2014/12/20 18:13
Banta Ek Job Ke Liye Interview Dene Gaya. Vaise Naukri Already Boss Ke Saale Ko Mil Chuki Thee Par Formality Ke Liye Interview Jaroori Tha Isliye Aise Sawaal Pucche Ja Rahe The Jinka Kol Matlab Nahin Tha. Apne Banta Ko Bulaya Gaya Interview Ke Liye.
Interviewer: Aap Nadi Ke Beech Mein Ek Boat Par Ho Aur Apke Paas 2 Cigarettes Ke Alawa Kuch Bhi Nahin Hai. Apko Ek Cigarette Jalana Hai, KaiseJalaoge ???
Banta: Sir Iske 3-4 Solutions Ho Sakte Hain.
Interviewer Shocked Lekin Kahaan: Achcha!!! Theek Hai Batao!!!
Banta Ke Out Of The World Answers:Take One Cigarette and Throw it in the Water. So the boat will become LIGHTER...... using this LIGHTER you can light the other Cigarette.
Interviewer: Kya Bakwas Hai.
Banta's Another solution:You throw a cigarette up and catch it. Catches win Matches. Using the matches that you win, you can light the cigarette.
Interviewer: Stupid!!!!
Banta: Sir one more Solution: Take water in your hand and drop it dropby drop (TIP, TIP, TIP...)
Interviewer: Abey Bewakoof, Us Se Kya Hoga???
Banta: Sir Aapne Wo Gaana Nahin Suna 'TIP TIP Barsa Pani, Pani Ne Aag Lagayee', Us Aag Se Humne Cigarette Jalayee...
Banta: Sir If that was not enough, I have one more solution: Start praising one cigarette, the other will get jealous and 'Jalney Lagega'.

Interviewer Impressed... Saale Ko Maaro Goli, Naukri Banta Ko Hee De Dete Hain.
Emo_CutE_GiRl_ 2014/12/20 18:15
Pyaar + Kkhayal = Maa.
Pyaar + Dar = Papa.
Pyaar + Saath = Behan.
Pyaar + Ladai = Bhai.
Pyaar + Zindagi = Girlfriend.
Pyaar + Masti = Friends.
Pyaar + Khayal +Dar +Saath Ladai +Zindagi Masti =Wife.
Married life is so easy, It's just like a walk in the Park, but the problem is that the Park is 'Jurassic Park'... Lo karlo walk...!!
Emo_CutE_GiRl_ 2014/12/20 18:17
Wines and Spirits Offers
I found a Leaflet in newspaper this morning which read:ARE YOU AN ALCOHOLIC ? CALL NOW. WE CAN HELP!!!'
My wife insisted I make a call. I Called up.It was a liquor shop offer:'Buy 3 & Get 1 Free' Mere toh khushi ke aansu nikal aaye.
Emo_CutE_GiRl_ 2014/12/20 18:18
Through the YearsLadies of 1970s:
Husb: Ek cup Coffee!
Wife: Abhi laee ji.
Ladies of 1980s:
Husb: Ek cup Coffee!
Wife: Abhi laee.
Ladies of 1990s:
Husb: Ek cup Coffee!
Wife: Laa rahi hu.
Ladies of 2000:
Husb: Ek cup Coffee!
Wife: Banake pee le.
Ladies of 2014:
Husb: Ek Cup Coffee!
Wife: Kya kaha?
Husb: Maine kaha, ek cup coffee bana du kya?
saahir 2014/12/22 05:33
Quote: Emo_CutE_GiRl_: Through the YearsLadies of 1970s:
Husb: Ek cup Coffee!
Wife: Abhi laee ji.
Ladies of 1980s:
Husb: Ek cup Coffee!
Wife: Abhi laee.
Ladies of 1990s:
Husb: Ek cup Coffee!
Wife: Laa rahi hu.
Ladies of 2000:
Husb: Ek cup Coffee!
Wife: Banake pee le.
Ladies of 2014:
Husb: Ek Cup Coffee!
Wife: Kya kaha?
Husb: Maine kaha, ek cup coffee bana du kya?

Sochta hu
Saal guzarte hi biwi badal lu .lol.
Emo_CutE_GiRl_ 2014/12/22 11:29
Quote: saahir:
Sochta hu
Saal guzarte hi biwi badal lu .lol.
lol Hahahaha

Replies: 37
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