SMILE by EpIcInCoGnItO 2010/06/09 22:30
Here aretwenty-five funny quotes to get you started.
1. “If it’s sent by ship then it’s a cargo, if it’s sent by road then it’s a shipment.†~ Dave Allen
2. “The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.†~ Albert Einstein
3. “Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.†~ Mae West
4. “I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.†~ Fred Allen
5. “The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.†~ Dave Barry
6. “A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.†~ Josh Billings
7. “Things ain’t what they used to be and probably never was.†~Will Rogers
8. “Marriage is the only war where you sleep with the enemy.†~ Gary Busey
9. “I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.†~ Walt Disney
10. “Hippies, hippies… they want to save the world but all they do is smoke pot and play frisbee!†~ Eric Cartman
-party-
Here aretwenty-five funny quotes to get you started.
1. “If it’s sent by ship then it’s a cargo, if it’s sent by road then it’s a shipment.†~ Dave Allen
2. “The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.†~ Albert Einstein
3. “Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.†~ Mae West
4. “I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.†~ Fred Allen
5. “The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.†~ Dave Barry
6. “A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.†~ Josh Billings
7. “Things ain’t what they used to be and probably never was.†~Will Rogers
8. “Marriage is the only war where you sleep with the enemy.†~ Gary Busey
9. “I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.†~ Walt Disney
10. “Hippies, hippies… they want to save the world but all they do is smoke pot and play frisbee!†~ Eric Cartman
-party-
EpIcInCoGnItO 2010/06/09 22:31
11. “If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.†~ Flip Wilson
12. “If you would like to know the value of money, go and try to borrow some.†~ Benjamin Franklin
13. “I’m Jewish. I don’t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.†~ Joan Rivers
14. “I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades…or a game of fake heart attack.†~ Demetri Martin
15. “Never give up. And never, under any circumstances, face the facts.†~ Ruth Gordon
16. “It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawnmower, snowblower or vacuum cleaner.†~ Ben Bergor
17. “Have no fear of perfection–you’ll never reach it.†~ Salvador Dali
18. “It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be ugly.†~ Oscar Wilde
11. “If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.†~ Flip Wilson
12. “If you would like to know the value of money, go and try to borrow some.†~ Benjamin Franklin
13. “I’m Jewish. I don’t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.†~ Joan Rivers
14. “I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades…or a game of fake heart attack.†~ Demetri Martin
15. “Never give up. And never, under any circumstances, face the facts.†~ Ruth Gordon
16. “It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawnmower, snowblower or vacuum cleaner.†~ Ben Bergor
17. “Have no fear of perfection–you’ll never reach it.†~ Salvador Dali
18. “It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be ugly.†~ Oscar Wilde
EpIcInCoGnItO 2010/06/09 22:31
21. “You grow up the day you have your first real laugh — at yourself.†~ Ethel Barrymore
22. “I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments.†~ Jim Morrison
23. “I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.†~ Winston Churchill
24. “Eagles may soar in the clouds, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines.†~ Jason Hutchison
25. “Just because nobody complains doesn’t mean all parachutes are perfect.†~ Benny Hill-
21. “You grow up the day you have your first real laugh — at yourself.†~ Ethel Barrymore
22. “I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments.†~ Jim Morrison
23. “I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.†~ Winston Churchill
24. “Eagles may soar in the clouds, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines.†~ Jason Hutchison
25. “Just because nobody complains doesn’t mean all parachutes are perfect.†~ Benny Hill-
lol very good to read.
.mmm.
(haba)
Replies: 24
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