FLAiR 2009/11/07 08:02
..But there's no chance of me ever going on a blind date.Pr(BD)=0.
Quote: Hen17: HOW TO GET RID OF A BLIND DATE:
1.Make funny faces at other patrons,then sneer at their reactions.
2.Read a newspaper or book during the meal.ignore your date.
3.Stare at your date's neck and grind your teeth audibly.
4.Howl and whistle at other women's leg especially if you are man.
5.Without asking eat off your date's meal,eat more 4rm his/her plate than his/her does.
6.Chew wit your mouth open,talk while eating wit your mouth full of spray crumbs.
7.Eat everything on your plate within 30seconds of it being place in front of you.
8.Excuse yourself to use the restroom.go back to the waiter/hostess and request for another table in a different place in the restaurant.order another meal.when your date finally finds you.ask him or her "what in the hell took you so long in the restroom?".
9.Ask the people at the next table for food from their plates.
10.If your date is paying,quickly order for the most expensive thing on the menu.take a bite and drop.
I doubt if he or she will not leave you!
I'm sure this will do d trick1.Make funny faces at other patrons,then sneer at their reactions.
2.Read a newspaper or book during the meal.ignore your date.
3.Stare at your date's neck and grind your teeth audibly.
4.Howl and whistle at other women's leg especially if you are man.
5.Without asking eat off your date's meal,eat more 4rm his/her plate than his/her does.
6.Chew wit your mouth open,talk while eating wit your mouth full of spray crumbs.
7.Eat everything on your plate within 30seconds of it being place in front of you.
8.Excuse yourself to use the restroom.go back to the waiter/hostess and request for another table in a different place in the restaurant.order another meal.when your date finally finds you.ask him or her "what in the hell took you so long in the restroom?".
9.Ask the people at the next table for food from their plates.
10.If your date is paying,quickly order for the most expensive thing on the menu.take a bite and drop.
I doubt if he or she will not leave you!
..But there's no chance of me ever going on a blind date.Pr(BD)=0.
Hen17 2009/11/07 09:22
CONVERSATION BETWEEN A MAN AND A HARD-TO-GET GIRL:
1.MAN:haven't i seen you somewhere before?
GIRL:yes,that's why i dont go there again
2.MAN:is this seat empty?
GIRL:yes,and mine will be empty if you sit down.
3.MAN:where are we going to?my place or yours
GIRL:both.you go to your place and i go to mine.
4.MAN:so what do you do for a living?
GiRL:i am a female impersonator.
5.MAN:hey baby,what's your sign?
GIRL: DO NOT ENTER.
6.MAN:how do you like your morning eggs?
GIRL:unfertilized
7.MAN:your body is like a church
GIRL:sorry there are no service this sunday.
MAN:i would go to the end of the world for you.
GIRL:but will you stay there?
CONVERSATION BETWEEN A MAN AND A HARD-TO-GET GIRL:
1.MAN:haven't i seen you somewhere before?
GIRL:yes,that's why i dont go there again
2.MAN:is this seat empty?
GIRL:yes,and mine will be empty if you sit down.
3.MAN:where are we going to?my place or yours
GIRL:both.you go to your place and i go to mine.
4.MAN:so what do you do for a living?
GiRL:i am a female impersonator.
5.MAN:hey baby,what's your sign?
GIRL: DO NOT ENTER.
6.MAN:how do you like your morning eggs?
GIRL:unfertilized
7.MAN:your body is like a church
GIRL:sorry there are no service this sunday.
MAN:i would go to the end of the world for you.
GIRL:but will you stay there?
Hen17 2009/11/07 09:42
SO YOU WANT A DAY OFF FROM WORK,EH?
Fair enough.....let's take a look at what you are asking for.
There are 365 days per year available for work.
There are 52 weeks per year in which you have already have 2 days off per week,leaving 261 days available for work.
Since you spend 16 hours each day AWAY from work,you have used up 170 days leaving only 90 days available for work.
You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee breaks.that takes care of 23 days,leaving 68 days available for work.
You take an hour's lunch everyday which takes up another 46days,leaving only 22 days available for work.
You normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave.this leaves only 20 days available for work.
We are off for 5 days holidays per year,so your available working time is down to 15 days.
You will have another 14 days annual leave which leaves only one day(1) available for work
SO YOU'RE ASKING TO BE ABSENT FROM WORK FOR A WHOLE YEAR? DO YOU WANT TO BE SACKED!
SO YOU WANT A DAY OFF FROM WORK,EH?
Fair enough.....let's take a look at what you are asking for.
There are 365 days per year available for work.
There are 52 weeks per year in which you have already have 2 days off per week,leaving 261 days available for work.
Since you spend 16 hours each day AWAY from work,you have used up 170 days leaving only 90 days available for work.
You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee breaks.that takes care of 23 days,leaving 68 days available for work.
You take an hour's lunch everyday which takes up another 46days,leaving only 22 days available for work.
You normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave.this leaves only 20 days available for work.
We are off for 5 days holidays per year,so your available working time is down to 15 days.
You will have another 14 days annual leave which leaves only one day(1) available for work
SO YOU'RE ASKING TO BE ABSENT FROM WORK FOR A WHOLE YEAR? DO YOU WANT TO BE SACKED!
:-D
W-CUBE 2010/03/22 12:14
U r a guy stop teln our secrets 2 d ladies.
Quote: Hen17: Advices 4 women:
1.dont imagine you can change a man unless he is in diapers
2.what do you do if your boyfriend walk-out?shut the door and dont beg
3.never allow your man's mind to wander coz it's too little to be out alone
4.definition of a bachelor;a man who has missed the opportunity to make some women miserable.
5.women do not make a fool of man coz most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
6.the best way to get man to do something,is to suggest that they are too old for it.
7.love is blind but marriage is a real eye opener.
8.the children of israel wandered for 40 year.even in biblical terms man wouldn't ask for direction.
9.if a man ask what kind of books,u are interested in,tell him checkbooks.
10.remember a sense of humour does not mean you telling him jokes but laughing at his jokes
1.dont imagine you can change a man unless he is in diapers
2.what do you do if your boyfriend walk-out?shut the door and dont beg
3.never allow your man's mind to wander coz it's too little to be out alone
4.definition of a bachelor;a man who has missed the opportunity to make some women miserable.
5.women do not make a fool of man coz most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
6.the best way to get man to do something,is to suggest that they are too old for it.
7.love is blind but marriage is a real eye opener.
8.the children of israel wandered for 40 year.even in biblical terms man wouldn't ask for direction.
9.if a man ask what kind of books,u are interested in,tell him checkbooks.
10.remember a sense of humour does not mean you telling him jokes but laughing at his jokes
U r a guy stop teln our secrets 2 d ladies.
W-CUBE 2010/03/22 12:16
Funi 9ce try
Quote: Hen17: MY ANSWERING MACHINES
1.my wife and i cant come to the phone right now,but if you would leave your name and number,we will get back to u as soon as we are finished.
2.hi this is hen17.if u are the phone company,i already sent the money.if you are my parents,please send money.if you are my bank,you didn't lend me enough money.if you are ma friend(a boy)you owe me money.if you are a female.dont worry,i have lots of money.
3.A is for 'academic',B is for 'beer',one of those reasons is why i am not here so leave a message.
4.hello if you leave a message i will call you soon but if you leave a sexy message i will call you sooner
1.my wife and i cant come to the phone right now,but if you would leave your name and number,we will get back to u as soon as we are finished.
2.hi this is hen17.if u are the phone company,i already sent the money.if you are my parents,please send money.if you are my bank,you didn't lend me enough money.if you are ma friend(a boy)you owe me money.if you are a female.dont worry,i have lots of money.
3.A is for 'academic',B is for 'beer',one of those reasons is why i am not here so leave a message.
4.hello if you leave a message i will call you soon but if you leave a sexy message i will call you sooner
Funi 9ce try
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