CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other!

LECTURE:
An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either

MARRIAGE:
It's an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

DIVORCE:
Future Tense of Marriage

COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece

TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water-power

DICTIONARY:
A place where divorce comes before marriage

CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present