Biggest Failure
CorbettRaven 2015/12/23 12:58
This topic is closed.
Today my little Luke and I went to the hospital for his weight review at Special Care Baby unit. However his weight remained constant, no increased at all. So the nurse felt upset about this, asking me if I fed him right.
I told the nurse I didn't wake him up for feeding when it was time to feed, when he was in the hospital he must be fed every 3 hours. At home, I wait for him to cry or look for milk because before I noticed that if I gave him on time he didn't usually take it. So I had to wait for him to cry.
Another thing was that even tho he cried for milk there were times when he only drank a little, like he latched on me only for 15 mins or less. I did tell the nurse about this, she suggested I must top up with the milk I stock in the freezer - this stock is for when I'm at work since I want my Luke to be breastfed.
I feel like I'm a totally incapable mother :( I've been sleeping less these days. Plus during the day I have to do the laundry. Thankfully my mother helps me a little for instance helps me bathe Luke, change his diapers etc.
But she isn't a pro when it comes to handling a preemie, so she just uses her years of experience of having full term babies to Luke, which I don't really approve of :(
And today my mum hinted about how happy wives would be when their husbands are with them bringing their babies to see the doctors or nurses. I feel really really am such an incapable mother. And again that feeling of wishing I'd give him for adoption came to me again. As I only want my Luke to be well :( And I knew he'd be happier with a complete family that could love him well. Unlike me :(
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