*Fart in bed?* by jaQui 2014/12/15 19:58
Do you fart in bed ?
If this story doesn't make you cry for
laughing so hard, let me know and
Ill pray for you. This is a story about
a couple who had been happily
married for years, the only friction in
their marriage was the husbands
habit of farting loudly every
morning when he awoke the noise
would wake his wife and the smell
would make her eyes water and
make her gasp for air.
Every morning
she would plead with him to stop
ripping them off because it was
making her sick. He told her he
couldn't stop it and that it was
perfectly natural. She told him to see
a doctor, she was concerned that
one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued
to rip them out. Then one Christmas
day morning, as she was preparing
the turkey for dinner and he was
upstairs sound asleep, she looked at
the innards, neck, gizzard, liver and
all the spare parts, and a malicious
thought came to her. She took the
bowl and went upstairs where her
husband was sound asleep and,
gently pulling the bed covers back,
she pulled back the elastic
waistband of his underpants and
emptied the bowl of turkey guts
into his shorts. Sometime later she
heard her husband waken with his
usual trumpeting which was
followed by a blood curdling scream
and the sound of frantic footsteps as
he ran into the bath room. The wife
could hardly control herself as she
rolled on the floor laughing, tears in
her eyes! After years of torture she
reckoned she had got him back
pretty good. About twenty minutes
later, her husband came downstairs
in his blood stained underpants with
a look of horror on his face. She bit
her lip as she asked him what was
the matter. He said, Honey you
were right all these years you have
warned me and I didn't listen to
you. What do you mean? asked
his wife. Well, you always told me
that one day I would end up farting
my guts out, and today it finally
happened, but by the grace of god,
some Vaseline and two fingers. I
think I got most of them back
in.....! -lol-