What is Jealousy?

What is Jealousy? by kris1920 2014/05/24 04:43
Jealousy is a very real and potentially ugly
emotion to be present in any relationship. In a
Poly relationship, however, the jealousy that
people feel tends to be of a different nature
entirely. In a monagomaous relationship, jealousy
tends to center around one partner basically
being untrusting of the other partner in regards to
a member of the opposite sex. Generally a wife
becomes jealous if her husband spends a lot of
time with another woman, or vice versa. From my
point of view living in an extended family, I find
myself jealous not of Kriek as a person, but
occasionally of the time he spends with Sister
Dagger or sometimes even the Relationship
Dynamic that they share. (See Relationship
Dynamics under the Practical Issues Section for
more on this).
Once I find myself starting to feel jealous even in
the slightest, I merely step back and look at the
subject objectively. Our wife is a fantastic, loving
woman who is sharing her life with two men and
loving them both equally yet differently at the
same time. Knowing her like I do, I know that she
is trying to create a balance between the time
she spends with both of her husbands so as not
to create ill feelings or resentment.
Jealousy, like many emotions, is a healthy one
provided that it doesn't fester and become a
much worse problem for all parties involved.
Jealousy that persists could very well be an
underlying indication of a much more serious
issue.
I think that it's important to note that while
jealousy is an emotion, it's not one that can exist
without many other companion emotions living
with it. It's more likely a symptom of other
issues or emotions then a free-standing emotion
all it's own. In order to feel jealousy you must
first feel something else. Think of jealousy as the
end result of the experiment. What was it that
served as the catalyst for this emotion you're
feeling? Chances are that you'll never wake up in
the morning feeling jealous without having at
least one other emotion mixed in there. Every
single person feels at least a twinge of jealousy
at some time in their life. The sad thing is that
many people don't realize it for what it is and
chalk it up to something different entirely. Any
person that tells you that they aren't the jealous
type is making a blanket statement that's pretty
hard to back up. The most important thing to
overcome when dealing with jealousy is learning
how to recognize it for what it is. After that it
gets easier; well a little bit anyway.