Trying to success=(POOR) by king diamond 2014/04/25 05:26
The problem with success
Youre probably here because you want to be a successful person. You want the material and emotional benefits that come with that.
Thats awesome and I want it to happen for you. But while theres nothing wrong with success, there are five important reasons why success for its own sake is the wrong focus:
1. Success is a moving target
Be honest, whats success for you?
Is it about launching a product and having people buy it?
Is it about having respect from your peers and mentors?
Is it about doing what you love so you can care for your family?
Too many people dont create their own definition of success. They chase an idea theyve patched together from what theyve read, observed, or think they
should be aiming for.
Do you know the feeling of not being wholly convinced that youre pursuing the
right success for you, but youve carried on regardless? Thats not how real success is achieved. Because even if youre outwardly successful, youll feel disconnected from it. Achieving the wrong kind of success will always feel hollow.
2. Success is the wrong motivator
Its too often based on extrinsic factors the things you believe success can deliver.
Whether its physical goods, the feeling that youve made it, or thinking youll be free of worry and stress, these are all externalized projections about what a successful lifestyle will bring you.
When you make decisions based on an external motivator, its much easier to second-guess yourself. Motivation that comes from within is much more grounded and more powerful.
3. Success isnt here, now
If youre working hard to make something happen, its easy to dream about the moment you become successful. We all tend to fantastize about that big pay-off for all our hard work.
That kind of success is always elusively around the next bend. Just a few more weeks or months away. Just a bit more work, and youll finally be successful.
But what about now? Whats stopping you from feeling like a success right now, this very moment? Waiting for success in the future takes you out of the game in the present.
4. Success does not eliminate worry or fear
Being successful does not change how your brain works.
Success often increases worry and fear, as you question how you can repeat it or worry about losing it.
What eliminates worry and fear is shifting the patterns of thinking that result in self-doubt and second-guessing.
5. Success is limited by confidence
Perhaps most important, any success you might experience is
limited by your self-confidence.
If success is achieved by taking repeated, meaningful action, then what happens if youre not confident enough to take the actions that scare the crap out of you?
What will you do when things go wrong? Without confidence, youll be more inclined to retreat, beat yourself up, and reinforce a negative self-image. Nasty.
Placing your efforts on being a successful person is putting energy into the wrong place. Its allowing in the complications Ive listed above (and there are more that I havent listed) and ignoring how youre thinking about what youre doing and how youre doing it
right now.
Instead, what Im suggesting is that you place your focus squarely on becoming a
confident person, rather than a successful one
.
To borrow from Daves article:
Success is not a person. Its an event.
Shift your thinking from being a successful person to a confident one, and youll experience more success events
and more failure events, both of which have abundant rewards. Heres how to do it, right now.
The problem with success
Youre probably here because you want to be a successful person. You want the material and emotional benefits that come with that.
Thats awesome and I want it to happen for you. But while theres nothing wrong with success, there are five important reasons why success for its own sake is the wrong focus:
1. Success is a moving target
Be honest, whats success for you?
Is it about launching a product and having people buy it?
Is it about having respect from your peers and mentors?
Is it about doing what you love so you can care for your family?
Too many people dont create their own definition of success. They chase an idea theyve patched together from what theyve read, observed, or think they
should be aiming for.
Do you know the feeling of not being wholly convinced that youre pursuing the
right success for you, but youve carried on regardless? Thats not how real success is achieved. Because even if youre outwardly successful, youll feel disconnected from it. Achieving the wrong kind of success will always feel hollow.
2. Success is the wrong motivator
Its too often based on extrinsic factors the things you believe success can deliver.
Whether its physical goods, the feeling that youve made it, or thinking youll be free of worry and stress, these are all externalized projections about what a successful lifestyle will bring you.
When you make decisions based on an external motivator, its much easier to second-guess yourself. Motivation that comes from within is much more grounded and more powerful.
3. Success isnt here, now
If youre working hard to make something happen, its easy to dream about the moment you become successful. We all tend to fantastize about that big pay-off for all our hard work.
That kind of success is always elusively around the next bend. Just a few more weeks or months away. Just a bit more work, and youll finally be successful.
But what about now? Whats stopping you from feeling like a success right now, this very moment? Waiting for success in the future takes you out of the game in the present.
4. Success does not eliminate worry or fear
Being successful does not change how your brain works.
Success often increases worry and fear, as you question how you can repeat it or worry about losing it.
What eliminates worry and fear is shifting the patterns of thinking that result in self-doubt and second-guessing.
5. Success is limited by confidence
Perhaps most important, any success you might experience is
limited by your self-confidence.
If success is achieved by taking repeated, meaningful action, then what happens if youre not confident enough to take the actions that scare the crap out of you?
What will you do when things go wrong? Without confidence, youll be more inclined to retreat, beat yourself up, and reinforce a negative self-image. Nasty.
Placing your efforts on being a successful person is putting energy into the wrong place. Its allowing in the complications Ive listed above (and there are more that I havent listed) and ignoring how youre thinking about what youre doing and how youre doing it
right now.
Instead, what Im suggesting is that you place your focus squarely on becoming a
confident person, rather than a successful one
.
To borrow from Daves article:
Success is not a person. Its an event.
Shift your thinking from being a successful person to a confident one, and youll experience more success events
and more failure events, both of which have abundant rewards. Heres how to do it, right now.
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