One Liners
gRim_ReapeR 2013/09/15 11:29
gRim_ReapeR 2013/09/15 11:29
The closes I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content
Home is where you can say anything you like, 'cause nobody listens to you anyway
When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance
I went alone on our honeymoon, my wife had already seen Niagara Falls
It was love at first sight, then I took a second look
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the 'terminal'?
Regular naps prevent old age.... especially if you take them while driving
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%, it's called Wedding Cake
If god had intended for man to use the metric system, jesus would have only had ten disciples
We have a quiet home life, I don't speak to her and she doesn't speak to me
Women are like police, they can have all the evidince in the world, but they still want a confession
After all is said and done, usually more is said than done
No one ever says "it's only a game", when their team is winning
Home is where you can say anything you like, 'cause nobody listens to you anyway
When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance
I went alone on our honeymoon, my wife had already seen Niagara Falls
It was love at first sight, then I took a second look
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the 'terminal'?
Regular naps prevent old age.... especially if you take them while driving
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%, it's called Wedding Cake
If god had intended for man to use the metric system, jesus would have only had ten disciples
We have a quiet home life, I don't speak to her and she doesn't speak to me
Women are like police, they can have all the evidince in the world, but they still want a confession
After all is said and done, usually more is said than done
No one ever says "it's only a game", when their team is winning
gRim_ReapeR 2013/09/15 11:30
I gave my son a hint, on his room door I put a sign: Checkout time is 18
Hard work never killed anybody - but why take the risk!
Kids in the backseat cause accidents; accidents in the backseat cause kids
If you can't laugh at yourself, I'll do it for you
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on
Illiterate? .... Write for Free Help!
When two's company, three's the result!
Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun
My wife says I never listen, or something like that...
I gave my son a hint, on his room door I put a sign: Checkout time is 18
Hard work never killed anybody - but why take the risk!
Kids in the backseat cause accidents; accidents in the backseat cause kids
If you can't laugh at yourself, I'll do it for you
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on
Illiterate? .... Write for Free Help!
When two's company, three's the result!
Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun
My wife says I never listen, or something like that...
ACIDized 2013/09/15 17:56
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back into your pocket.
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back into your pocket.
.sad.
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