lost. by InternetLord 2013/08/07 07:47
A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he
came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and
was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long,
grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me
up for the night?"
"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one
condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my
daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese
tortures known to man."
"Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be
pretty old as well, and entered the house.
Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She
was young, beautiful, and had a fantastic figure.
She was obviously attracted to the young man since
she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal.
Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her
and went up to bed alone.
But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and
sneaked into her room for a night of passion.
He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man
wouldn't hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room,
exhausted, but happy.
He woke in the morning with the feel of pressure on his
chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his
chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1:
Large rock on chest."
"Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the
best the old man can do then I don't have much to
worry about."
He picked the rock up, walked over to the window and
threw the rock out. As he did so he noticed another
note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to
left testicle."
In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was
already getting close to the end.
Figuring that a few broken bones was better than
castration, he jumped out of the window after the rock.
As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the
ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle
tied to bedpost."
-lol2-
A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he
came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and
was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long,
grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me
up for the night?"
"Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one
condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my
daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese
tortures known to man."
"Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be
pretty old as well, and entered the house.
Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She
was young, beautiful, and had a fantastic figure.
She was obviously attracted to the young man since
she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal.
Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her
and went up to bed alone.
But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and
sneaked into her room for a night of passion.
He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man
wouldn't hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room,
exhausted, but happy.
He woke in the morning with the feel of pressure on his
chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his
chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1:
Large rock on chest."
"Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the
best the old man can do then I don't have much to
worry about."
He picked the rock up, walked over to the window and
threw the rock out. As he did so he noticed another
note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to
left testicle."
In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was
already getting close to the end.
Figuring that a few broken bones was better than
castration, he jumped out of the window after the rock.
As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the
ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle
tied to bedpost."
-lol2-
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