Mr John once hurt his arm when playing tennis.

His friend told him of this new machine at Barnet General Hospital that could diagnose any problem in a human and prescribe an appropriate remedy.

All it needed was a small sample of body fluid.

Mr John, skeptical, went to test it out.

He put in some of his blood in the small container he was given and put it in the machine.

The results came out instantaneously and said,

You have a tennis arm. Rub with ointment and soak in warm water daily.

He was genuinely impressed.

But, he thought he could trick the machine and confuse it.

He went home and mixed up different things.

He put in his dogs urine, his daughters spit, a bit of his wifes blood (He told her it was just a test) and finally his semen.

He went back to the machine the next day and put in the mixture hed made.

The machine was quiet for a while.

Just as Mr John thought hed won, the results came out.

Your dog has fleas. Get a veterinary. Your daughter is taking heroin. Get her a counselor. Your wife is pregnant. And the babys not yours. Get a lawyer. Stop masturbating or your tennis arm wont heal.

Hes still on admission in at the same Barnet General Hospital after a heart attack.