Santa: I am getting married. How would I
know if my wife is a virgin?

Banta: Get an Irish Virginity test kit.

Santa: What's that?

Banta: Get a Can of Red Paint, a can of
Blue Paint and a hammer.

Santa: What ? Are you mad?
Banta: Paint your right Ball Red and Left
Ball Blue and as you remove your
underwear, if your wife says, 'that's the
strangest pair of balls I've ever seen' Hit
her head with the hammer !